u/BarberCorrect5206

Ive been a lurker on here for a while. 37(f) and tomorrow I plan to tell my 37 (m) husband that we need to separate for good after 23 years together. We’ve been together since we were teens, we have 3 kids and have a co-dependency on eachother that is so unhealthy. He’s an avoidant and has disappointed me over the years with so much including financial issues, cheating, lying,addiction, not emotionally present and more. most recently he’s been a huge alcoholic and coke addict the last couple years. He’s spent tons of money that we don’t have and refuses to get help. He claims he can do it on his own, but keeps relapsing. I finally lost it on him a few
Days ago, insulted him to the bone. Said things I wasn’t proud of and regret, but he’s been making me feel like shit for Years- honestly I wanted him to feel some semblance of pain that I feel daily. That night he ended up getting blacked out drunk and I later found over 30 messages of him on Reddit kink and hookup sites. He was messaging men and woman to bring him coke and either give him oral or let him F in their A (the men thing was very new to me) he gave our location so definitely was wanting to meet up with these people (he tried to say it was all fantasy, but if that’s the case- why give easy walkable locations from our house? ) no one actual to meet up with him because I’m pretty sure they were all looking to make money themselves, and who wants to pay someone with drugs AND give them oral. Not how this works. I’m pretty sure he thinks I’ll just forgive him in a few days like I’ve done for everything. Except this time- I can’t. I plan to officially break up with him tomorrow and either help him get into treatment or he can leave. Today was Mother’s Day and he nailed it, like he often does and it just feels so sad that I have to make the final decision for our family to end. I guess I’m just looking for encouragement. I would have loved and forgiven him forever, but trading sex for coke is even a new low for him and it’s only going to get worse.

Ive been a lurker on here for a while. 37(f) and tomorrow I plan to tell my 37 (m) husband that we need to separate for good after 23 years together. We’ve been together since we were teens, we have 3 kids and have a co-dependency on eachother that is so unhealthy. He’s an avoidant and has disappointed me over the years with so much including financial issues, cheating, lying,addiction, not emotionally present and more. most recently he’s been a huge alcoholic and coke addict the last couple years. He’s spent tons of money that we don’t have and refuses to get help. He claims he can do it on his own, but keeps relapsing. I finally lost it on him a few
Days ago, insulted him to the bone. Said things I wasn’t proud of and regret, but he’s been making me feel like shit for Years- honestly I wanted him to feel some semblance of pain that I feel daily. That night he ended up getting blacked out drunk and I later found over 30 messages of him on Reddit kink and hookup sites. He was messaging men and woman to bring him coke and either give him oral or let him F in their A (the men thing was very new to me) he gave our location so definitely was wanting to meet up with these people (he tried to say it was all fantasy, but if that’s the case- why give easy walkable locations from our house? ) no one actual to meet up with him because I’m pretty sure they were all looking to make money themselves, and who wants to pay someone with drugs AND give them oral. Not how this works. I’m pretty sure he thinks I’ll just forgive him in a few days like I’ve done for everything. Except this time- I can’t. I plan to officially break up with him tomorrow and either help him get into treatment or he can leave. Today was Mother’s Day and he nailed it, like he often does and it just feels so sad that I have to make the final decision for our family to end. I guess I’m just looking for encouragement. I would have lived and forgiven him forever, but trading sex for coke is even a new low for him and it’s only going to get worse.