u/Bananafoliage

I’m not really sure how to start this, but I’m going to try my best to explain everything as best as I can.

I will say, this is the first relationship I’ve been in since middle school. I’ve been alone for a very long time, and I’ve been okay with that.

I’ve been dating my boyfriend for about a month now, and the first couple of weeks were great. I do love spending time with him, but there are things that I’ve been noticing about him. Or I guess, just things that have been happening. If I don’t see him for a couple days, I get repeated “I miss you” texts. Like I’m talking multiple times a day. So when I finally do see him, he doesn’t keep his hands off of me. And what I mean by that, is hugging me as hard as he can, grabbing and squeezing at me, or trying to touch me in certain places. I had a conversation with him, which I essentially said, I do love spending time with you, and doing what we do, but, I get overstimulated by repeated touching. He said that he understood and thanked me for telling him.

I thought that would be the end of it, but it wasn’t, and it just continues. So I told him again, like I love you, but let’s calm down. At that point we’d only been dating about a week and a half.

Couple weeks pass, and I didn’t see him for 4 days because I was busy working, but, we were texting heavily. But during that time, it was again the influx of I miss you texts. And for me personally, which I told him this early on, when things get repeatedly told me in excess, it starts to lose meaning to me, and he said he understands that, but continues to do it. And if I don’t text him the whole day, he sends me long messages about how he’s afraid I’m losing interest, even though I’ve told him that I’m just busy with work, and I can’t be on my phone all day. He also wants me to come over to his place constantly, but never makes the effort to come over to mine when I’m too busy to leave the house, or if I’m not feeling well enough to leave.

He says he understands, and then it just becomes a repeating cycle.

Trust that I feel like an asshole writing this out. But it just doesn’t feel like what I’m saying to him is actually getting through to him. I guess what I’m looking for is how to approach the matter in a better way? Because I do love him, but I feel like what I communicate with him is being ignored. I do want this relationship to last and grow, and I feel like maybe the problem is I’m not explaining things in a way that he understands?

TL;DR

My boyfriend won’t listen to what I tell him about myself and my boundaries.

I’m not really sure how to start this, but I’m going to try my best to explain everything as best as I can.

I will say, this is the first relationship I’ve been in since middle school. I’ve been alone for a very long time, and I’ve been okay with that.

I’ve been dating my boyfriend for about a month now, and the first couple of weeks were great. I do love spending time with him, but there are things that I’ve been noticing about him. Or I guess, just things that have been happening. If I don’t see him for a couple days, I get repeated “I miss you” texts. Like I’m talking multiple times a day. So when I finally do see him, he doesn’t keep his hands off of me. And what I mean by that, is hugging me as hard as he can, grabbing and squeezing at me, or trying to fondle me(?). I had a conversation with him, which I essentially said, I do love spending time with you, and doing what we do, but, I get overstimulated by repeated touching. He said that he understood and thanked me for telling him.

I thought that would be the end of it, but it wasn’t, and it just continues. So I told him again, like I love you, but let’s calm down. At that point we’d only been dating about a week and a half.

Couple weeks pass, and I didn’t see him for 4 days because I was busy working, but, we were texting heavily. But during that time, it was again the influx of I miss you texts. And for me personally, which I told him this early on, when things get repeatedly told me in excess, it starts to lose meaning to me, and he said he understands that, but continues to do it. And if I don’t text him the whole day, he sends me long messages about how he’s afraid I’m losing interest, even though I’ve told him that I’m just busy with work, and I can’t be on my phone all day. He also wants me to come over to his place constantly, but never makes the effort to come over to mine when I’m too busy to leave the house, or if I’m not feeling well enough to leave.

He says he understands, and then it just becomes a repeating cycle.

Trust that I feel like an asshole writing this out. But it just doesn’t feel like what I’m saying to him is actually getting through to him. I guess what I’m looking for is how to approach the matter in a better way? Because I do love him, but I feel like what I communicate with him is being ignored. I do want this relationship to last and grow, and I feel like maybe the problem is I’m not explaining things in a way that he understands?

What can I say to him?

Looking for advice [25F] -[27M]

I’m not really sure how to start this, but I’m going to try my best to explain everything as best as I can.

I will say, this is the first relationship I’ve been in since middle school. I’ve been alone for a very long time, and I’ve been okay with that.

I’ve been dating my boyfriend for about a month now, and the first couple of weeks were great. I do love spending time with him, but there are things that I’ve been noticing about him. Or I guess, just things that have been happening. If I don’t see him for a couple days, I get repeated “I miss you” texts. Like I’m talking multiple times a day. So when I finally do see him, he doesn’t keep his hands off of me. And what I mean by that, is hugging me as hard as he can, grabbing and squeezing at me, or trying to touch me in certain places. I had a conversation with him, which I essentially said, I do love spending time with you, and doing what we do, but, I get overstimulated by repeated touching. He said that he understood and thanked me for telling him.

I thought that would be the end of it, but it wasn’t, and it just continues. So I told him again, like I love you, but let’s calm down. At that point we’d only been dating about a week and a half.

Couple weeks pass, and I didn’t see him for 4 days because I was busy working, but, we were texting heavily. But during that time, it was again the influx of I miss you texts. And for me personally, which I told him this early on, when things get repeatedly told me in excess, it starts to lose meaning to me, and he said he understands that, but continues to do it. And if I don’t text him the whole day, he sends me long messages about how he’s afraid I’m losing interest, even though I’ve told him that I’m just busy with work, and I can’t be on my phone all day. He also wants me to come over to his place constantly, but never makes the effort to come over to mine when I’m too busy to leave the house, or if I’m not feeling well enough to leave.

He says he understands, and then it just becomes a repeating cycle.

Trust that I feel like an asshole writing this out. But it just doesn’t feel like what I’m saying to him is actually getting through to him. I guess what I’m looking for is how to approach the matter in a better way? Because I do love him, but I feel like what I communicate with him is being ignored. I do want this relationship to last and grow, and I feel like maybe the problem is I’m not explaining things in a way that he understands?