u/AwarenessFar4995

Just looking for some hot tips here on how to handle an upcoming situation. I am married with a child and in a mostly good and stable place in life.

When I met my now husband, it turned out he had a connection to my ex of 7 years, who lives at the other end of the country. I was a bit weirded out, at first, but relaxed a lot more knowing they were acquaintances and didn’t see each other often.

However, we are now due to see this ex at a wedding of a mutual friend.

I was with this ex for 7 years in total, got together in our early 20s, and although I was young, i really thought this was it. I became best friends with his mom. Loved being part of their family and was incredibly close to his parents and sister. I am still friends with the sister to this day.

Tragically, both parents died within a year of each other (both expected deaths due to chronic illnesses, but it was a terrible time for my ex and his sister). Shortly after his father died, ex began to pull away and distance himself from me. It got so bad that he would walk out of the room if I entered it (in our tiny shared home). He started sleeping in another room and staying out late, and then eventually stopped coming home whatsoever. He sent a text saying it was over, a few weeks later. I tried to call and contact him, tried to discuss things… nothing. He cut me out entirely. I went to the flat (owned by his parents, so it was for me to move out), collected my belongings. And literally never heard from him again… after 7 years together. Apparently he moved on a month later.

Although I am well over him and the relationship now, I feel incredibly uneasy about seeing him again. We haven’t said a word to each other since he dumped me over a text.

I basically feel confused and unsure of how to communicate with him when I see him. How should I approach it? Thank you for your help.

TDLR: dumped with a text by longterm partner many years ago. He was dealing with grief at the time and moved on very quickly. Now due to see him at a wedding after not a word since being dumped. How do I communicate?

I know I just need to get over this but I can’t seem to stop the rumination, endless self-questioning, and asking “why”???

To briefly outline, I had an extremely close group of friends since the teenage years. We did everything together, shared many things over the years, and were always in each other’s lives.

A few years ago, I had a huge falling out with one friend. They began to tear into me at every meet up, say some horrible things that I could not get my head around, and began to do the same to my then partner. On one occasion, they got drunk and entered a shouting match with said ex-partner. I instigated a conversation multiple times, trying to figure out what was up, asking gently and then more directly what was wrong. They never said. And then after that, they made a “joke” about me dying, and I felt like it was just better all around if we minimised contact.

Since then, the other friends in the group have palpably distanced themselves from me. I have since learned that one of them asked everyone in the group to be witnesses at their wedding, apart from me. The pain of realising this was awful. I cried for weeks (pathetic I guess), and I’m now just stuck with the weird grief and confusion over losing people I thought were like… family.

The problem is that this happened about 18 months ago now and I still think about it almost every day. I feel so burnt, so inadequate, and so unlovable.

I don’t know. If you made it this far, thank you for reading. I feel so ashamed and stuck with it all.

Sorry, another rant from another dissatisfied wife.

I 32F am fucking sick and tired of my dumb fucking husband who does sums for a living but CANNOT UNDERSTAND what it means to empathise with me.

The example today

“I’ve had a really hard day today and just want to cry”

His response

“Have you considered altering your timetable so that you’re more on top of chores?”

I FUCKING HATE HIM AND I FEEL TRAPPED

What’s more is how LAUGHABLE it is for him to criticise his own parents because “they don’t show him love”

Hello????

Yours, a tired and fucking done mom