u/Atlassian-Bebop

I’m a 29yo parent, father to two beautiful boys (4yo and 2yo) and have twins baking on the way (also boys).

I have unflinching love and adoration for my boys. They’re my world and everyday I thank God for having them in my life. I’m beyond grateful and feel so fortunate to have them in my life.

This love, which dare I say is borderline extreme, also makes me feel so very afraid of loss, whether it means losing them or not being alive to see them grow.

I’ve never felt this way and never thought I would fear for my life for this specific reason. It’s the thing I’m scared of the most - losing them or not being alive to see them grow.

Is this a selfish mindset? Is it some sort of a crisis I must go through to always be a present father? Does this happen to every parent?

My wife is struggling a lot through her pregnancy. She’s at 20 weeks and we’re having modi twins. They’re two weeks bigger than they should be and she’s feeling a lot of pressure right now (physically and mentally).

She works a remote job, I work an office job and have to go in office 4-days a week. It’s been tough to balance work and life lately and I’m trying really hard to hold multiple life ropes at the same time - the main one being my wife.

I want to help her out but it almost feels like i can never get a grasp on a solution for her pain. She feels so much pain and cried like a child 3/4 times last week. I feel terrible and the most I can do in these situations is try and soothe her and calm her down with kind words. I’ve been taking on the load back home with the kids (we have two, 4yo and 2yo) and ramped up on physical tasks such as cleaning/moving stuff around/etc.

Other than that, I feel like there’s more I can do but I can’t put my finger on it. Any advice on how I can help her feel better when she feels physical pain would be much appreciated. I want her to feel supported through this!