I'm a F28 and my husband is M33. He is a Veteran with mental issues and I constantly feel alone.
My husband is a veteran with severe PTSD, anger issues, and significant memory problems, and it’s starting to break me emotionally.
Over the years, I’ve realized he genuinely cannot remember huge parts of our life together. He forgets trips, conversations, places we’ve lived, movies we watched, how we got our dog, and even meaningful moments from only weeks earlier. Sometimes after arguments where he screamed at me or said hurtful things, he later has no memory of it happening at all.
In the moment he can seem completely normal, but later it’s like events never happened. He’s told me he barely has visual memory anymore since leaving the military, and sometimes when I bring up memories that mean a lot to me, I’m met with a blank stare like I’m describing someone else’s life.
I feel like I’m carrying all the memories and emotional weight of our relationship alone. I remember both the good moments and the painful ones, while he forgets so much of it. It’s incredibly lonely and exhausting, and sometimes I wonder if one day he won’t even remember me.
We’ve been trying to get him help through the VA for a couple years, but between the PTSD, anger, stress, and worsening memory issues, I honestly don’t know how much more I can handle emotionally.
Has anyone else experienced severe memory loss in a spouse with PTSD or military trauma? How do you cope with loving someone who seems to forget so much of your shared life?
TL;DR: My husband is a veteran with severe PTSD, anger issues, and worsening memory problems. He forgets major events, trips, conversations, and sometimes even hurtful things he’s said or done only weeks earlier. I feel like I’m carrying all the memories and emotional weight of our relationship alone while trying to get him help through the VA. I love him, but I’m exhausted and don’t know what to do.