u/AsparagusIcy2376

Hi, I’m 19

Whenever I feel really bad I go online and seek out older attention, when I was younger it was just online but when I got to 17/18 I wanted to talk to older guys (30-40) so would look at dating apps.

I hate myself for it and don’t know why I’ve done it, I don’t feel like I can blame them because I am actively seeking it out, especially since I’m 19 now.

I don’t know why I do this but wondered if anyone gets the same? Or what to do about it? It’s not even that I like them, the most I like is the attention.

I was messaging someone for a good 2 weeks and we even started to talk about meeting up.

Then I went to the hospital and was sick for days with a heart issue and I never replied and then when I finally thought about it I was unsure weather it was too long as the last message was morning I also was a bit busy panicking and dealing with what was happening.

It’s been a month, I’m begged and I still feel bad, should I message just to say sorry (i don’t even expect anything or maybe even want anything but just thought maybe they deserve an explanation?) I’m autistic and struggle with how to deal with situations like this? Especially since online brigs like this are new to me.