u/Asleep_routine7

I’m ambitious and always have been. I currently run a small dog walking business with a colleague, but my long-term goal is to start my own dog training business once i finish my studies and get more hands-on experience.

The thing is, i’m scared of myself, or more so i don’t fully trust myself.

Even now, without a huge amount of pressure, i still with my lows. They can be really consuming - i just want to isolate and self-sabotage. At the same time, i refuse to stay stuck in that, but it makes me question my long-term consistency.

Sometimes i feel like i should just accept that i’m not wired the same and maybe i won’t be able to do what others do. But then there’s a part of me that would feel so disappointed if i gave up on that.

I think what scares me most is building something and then losing it because of a split or a low, and ending up at square one, as well as disappointing my clients.

I (21F) have been seeing this guy (23M) for a couple of months and he told me he never uses soap in the shower.

At first i thought he meant like occasionally or he uses less, but no he literally means never.

I asked him why and didn’t really get a clear answer. He just said he doesn’t smell much and kind of implied people who use soap smell worse, which i agree with to a degree if your overusing.

The thing is, I have noticed he smells sometimes after a long day or after sweating. As well his skin feels oily?

He said people need to tell him if he smells and needs a shower, which feels a bit off to me - like shouldn’t that be basic self-awareness?

What bothers me more is that he’ll exercise, sweat a lot and then get into bed without showering. Which i feel if you’re not using soap, you especially should be showering everyday and after those activities.

I do like him and i’m not super uptight, but i find this hard to accept?

I’m planning to talk to him in a non-judgemental way and just be honest that using soap and showering more or less everyday is a non-negotiable for me.

I also know multiple of his friends over the years have brought this up to him before and he brushed it off, which makes me think he might not take it seriously.

If it doesn’t work out, is what it is, but i’m genuinely curious,

How do people generally view this? or would this be a deal breaker for you too?