u/Arreynn

I (23) have been planning to meet up with my boyfriend, that i met online, for the first time sometime this year and on my birthday my parents gave me some money(part of it, the rest they said they’d give me the next week). Since this was the case i decided that i would go next month. I told my parents a few weeks ago that i wanted to go and visit someone in another country(not far away). They seemed really weird about it.

Today i told them that i would book the tickets as they would be too expensive if i waited much longer and my mother freaked out. She said “I don’t want you to go”. She then said that she would not give me the rest of the money promised for my birthday, which would cover the basic living stuff while i was over there, since this was what i was using it for and that she would never have given me anything if shed known this was the plan.

She then goes on to say that the idea of it was already making her sick and that shed end up in hospital because of it. Said that it was the stupidest thing shed ever heard and that “you don’t know these people, you don’t know what kind of sick people you might meet”.

I walked away after that and am now just feeling scared and upset. I almost feel crazy for even wanting to do this in the first place. Am i being unreasonable in feeling a bit controlled?

Im still living with parents so I feel a bit bad for being annoyed at this but we haven’t had proper access to hot water for like 5-6 or so years due to an issue with the boiler.

We can get hot water but that involves turning the boiler on, waiting for it to go off which also switches off the electricity in the house, meaning that we cant use it when someone is doing something important that needs electricity and someone cant start doing something while the boiler is on.

They have said that they cant get an electrician to come out and do it because they only come out for big jobs and this is only something that would take 10 or so minutes. They even know someone who could do it but they don’t want to bother them. Which would be understandable but it’s been like 5 years. Its not a case of not being able to afford it. They have spent a lot of money on other stuff for the house and garden. It’s just become the new normal for the house. It’s not the end of the world obviously but it is kind of a pain.