What are early red flags? When did they start? Was you aware something wasn’t right?
Im 6 months into a relationship and my instincts are screaming at me to get away.
Im 4 months pregnant and pretty petrified. I’ve had 2 previous relationships and I’ve never experienced what I’m experiencing now.
There are no threats of physical abuse or anything like that. Although my bf always pretends he will be in the future as one of his jokes.
But for now, I just feel like my emotions are his toy and something he knows hurts and manipulates me.
I think he consciously makes decisions against me but lacks awareness of the bigger picture of what he is doing. He is idolised by his friends and family and anyone who meets him. Even when he displays his arrogance and negative traits. So I feel like the only person to see what his like.
6 months in. When I raise an issue he is still willing to be so kind to me after I raise it. He says he will reflect and he will apologise, he is so reassuring. (Not like a narcissist?). But everything in our relationship is about him, for him and he will punish me emotionally when it doesn’t go his way. Again, I raise it and he is very sorry. But I feel like I’m still drowning everyday and scared of what’s going to happen over the next few months and after the baby. He sets down the law all the time. He may say sorry. But I still have to change. I’m starting to walk on eggshells and when I realise I’ve annoyed him (before he punishes me) I often cry as I know he is not happy. I feel like I’ve failed him and I know he will love me less and now I’ll be treated like less. I have to choose if what I say is worth it now, letting so much slide. The weird thing is? I didn’t truly love him. (Unfortunately the pregnancy happened through part of his manipulation). But Initially he made me say I love him (long story). But after all this fighting to try work and all the emotional fighting I’ve done, I’ve fallen in love with him in the process and all I want is for him to be happy with me and the future. I’m sure he knows I’m trying so hard because everytime I do something wrong I get visibly upset and I think he likes the validation. I never cried before, the hormones don’t help, but his expectations seem to be unusual. If I watch my choice of tv, I’m a bad person. So now I don’t even want to watch my tv. But he will sit on his phone and I’ll do nothing. He sits on the phone having calls many times in my company and all sorts. If I have a short call, his offended. If he visits and I want to plan the day. I’ll ask what time is he thinking of going etc so I know what time we have. But I’m apparently trying to get rid of him and he sometimes will just leave as his not wanted. So I can’t even ask that anymore. One day he will say how happy he is and how things are great. The next day it can be I’m draining and we’re not working because I’ve said something about my ex or something.
Maybe it’s all in my head. But this relationship is not relaxed.