Hosts drink all my gift wine and rarely provide much more.
I (F57) have a friend (F57) who moved closer to me three years ago, a two-hour drive away. She and her man really enjoy hosting dinners and inviting friends (2-4). We all enjoy our cocktails, particularly wine (this is important). I always offer to bring an appetizer or a dessert or some part of the meal and she always accepts. I always bring an enormous amount of whatever I make.
Here is my dilemma: I can bring a bottle of wine or two bottles of wine, but they are always the first opened and the first consumed very quickly. Following that, it is hit or miss whether anything else will be offered. I have been there where the male host makes himself a drink or opens a beer and does not offer to anyone else. I have been there where glasses are empty for perhaps up to an hour. I have been there where the event loses steam because no more libations are shared whatsoever. And this only happens at their home. At other homes, they will keep drinking if there is a supply.
They have a wine rack with bottles and I have asked if we can open one, but I hate doing that. I think I'm pretty old fashioned in the rules of hosting a party and that you should have on hand plenty of everything. When I asked what I could bring, if you didn't tell me to bring beverages, I am expecting you to provide beverages, particularly if I am driving 2 hours.
This dilemma could benefit from a little more background as well. I have hosted this couple for three-day weekends at my home on three different occasions. Knowing how much wine they consume, each time, I kid you not, I have had over 20 bottles of wine in my mini fridge for five people over three days. They will eagerly drink as much as is available.
This couple does not bring anything into the house when they arrive. Each and every long weekend they've been here, when I finally do run out of wine, they might bring something in from their car that they have not shared prior. So essentially I know that they are both stingy, and if they can get away with not sharing their stash, they will.
I know that you are going to ask me why I keep doing this to myself. My girlfriend has been my girlfriend since we were 8 years old, almost 50 years. I love her desperately even though she is not perfect. I also blame her man way more than her.
I really want to stay polite. I desperately want to stay a class act. Does anyone out there have any really clever yet classy ways of dealing with this? If I'm going to be at their house for four to five hours, I would like to always know that I can have some wine in my glass when I want it and I resent having to supply more than two bottles JUST so I can have enough. (I have tried the “fill my glass in the car" tactic, but I don’t want to outdrink everyone else.)
Thank you everybody in advance!
EDIT: These are overnight events. When there is this much alcohol, no one drives. And my husband doesn't like the dude, so skips the event 90% of the time. It's just me.