u/Apprehensive_Mud2167

Sorry, I need to vent. In brief, my ex who abused me for years decided she wanted to leave me. She was seeing someone else I'm sure. She lied to the police that I was domestically abusing her for pretty-much the duration of our relationship (nothing could be further from the truth).

She said I stopped her seeing friends and family (I'm certain they don't know the extent of the allegations) when, in reality, I was at home all the time and had to ask permission for a night out (she'd see friends and family daily, and go on foreign holidays without me); she claimed I financially controlled her (again, the opposite is true); that I downloaded sat-nav details from our cars (neither of them have sat-nav); that I stopped her from going to her exercise classes if males were present (not true, there are photos of her on the club website with her in them, in mixed-sex classes...over years). Those are just a few examples. Her mother lied in court saying I was screaming and shouting at my wife in front of her (not true, in fact, my mother-in-law was shouting at me). Her mother has always had a poor relationship with the truth and everyone was always wary of upsetting her.

I was convicted of domestic abuse (making her feel fear). Court is not like it is on tv -- even if you have good evidence, sometimes it can't be shown (e.g. objections to it being too late). I am going through the appeal process and also reporting her to the police for abuse but it's a lengthy process and an uphill struggle.

This was mainly about child custody I'm sure (and, wanting to move on with a new relationship). It's destroyed me. I genuinely almost killed myself. I didn't think I'd ever feel that way. I am lucky, despite all her efforts to have me only see the children for several days a month, I see them much more often. I was supposed to semi-retire a year ago but now I'm almost broke. I do consider myself lucky on the whole but sometimes it's a bitter pill to swallow. I should have listened to my subconscious telling me to pay more attention to the red flags.