u/ApprehensivePlan483

I’m not doing any good. Approaching one year since I went through losing my dream job. Having been sold out by my work colleagues. The dishonesty and lies to me have destroyed me. Fast forward. My part time job rejected me. Applied for a job and got rejected to someone else. Applying for jobs and nobody will give me a chance. The economy is finished.
Also been rejected romantically and nobody will give me a chance. My family don’t need me anymore. My friends don’t need me. Even pets and animals reject me. Nobody listens to me and why should they? I wouldn’t want to be friends with me.

Probably being 30 with gray hair doesn’t help.
Being autistic has held me back and have realised that. There’s no hope. I’d be better off if I wasn’t here.

TLDR - Self esteem gone, emotionally numb and given up.

Will keep it simple. But I’m not doing any good.
Approaching a year since I went through the worst period of my life. Lost my dream job and was betrayed by colleagues, undermined and lost it.

Constant rejection and my self esteem is gone. I feel emotionally exhausted and numb. Nothing inspires, motivates or moves me. Superficial advice doesn’t help, therapy is too expensive and the whole country
is suffering.

I’ve had enough of this life and mine. I don’t care anymore.