u/Any_Breadfruit6560

I’ve been recently diagnosed with ocd, I thought it was anxiety my whole life but it all makes sense now. I have really bad health anxiety and harm ocd. I’ve been spiraling alot about pills and fears that they will harm me. About a month ago I started lexapro and had held off for a month because I was scared. 2 doses in I was in dpdr and having panic attacks. My brain still hasn’t left the state. Since that happened I feel like I’m on the verge of a panic attack at any moment or being chased by a bear. That experience was traumatic and now has scared me into taking my new med (Trintillix) I know it shouldn’t as I’ve still been experiencing dpdr without medicine in my system but this is very difficult to shake. I’ve even been scared to take supplements. I am so exhausted living this way. Any advice or anyone who has gone thru something similar I’d appreciate advice and how you tackled it.

To start I have horrific health anxiety and ocd. Looping thoughts, scared of everything, scared of meds that they will “poison me” I took lexapro about a month ago and held off on it for a month before taking it and within 2 doses I was having dpdr panic attacks and I felt like I was on drugs but it was a bad high. I now have 5 mg Trintillix and I am horrified. Dpdr is so scary and I am learning how to not let it control me and my biggest thing right now is I fear after I take the pill I will spiral thinking I’m poisoned. Living this way is crippling and being scared of meds that could help me is even worse. I just want to know if there was anyone who has taken Trintillix that was just like me before and how it was. I hope for only positive responses as I am already scared. I also struggle to take pills it’s one of my fears (choking) my pharm said not to crush but my psych said it was okay but I want to ask you guys if you know if crushing is okay?
Thank you in advanced I know that was a lot.