Hello good people of Reddit. I'm sharing this story. Now there are 4 families involved in this. Each family consists of a husband, wife, and mix of kids (ranging from ages 11-29). Each family will be reduced to A, B, C, and D. Things to note:
- Family A has 3 kids - A1 (28 y/o), A2 (22), and A3 (18)
- Family B has 3 kids - B1 (17), B2 (13), and B3 (11)
- Family C has 3 kids - C1 (18), C2 (16), and C3 (14)
- Family D has 1 kid - D1 (29)
- A & D are related
- B & C are close friends of A
- D is on friendly terms with B and C.
Let's begin
B is visiting A. As part of B's trip, they and A will be visiting C, who lives elsewhere. B also invites D in visiting C. It's the weekend and A, B, & D are all staying at C's house. Late Saturday night (1 AM), D1 heads to bed as D plans to go to early Sunday mass. A, B, and C are unaware of this, but they are also non-Catholic and don't care about church. Family D gets up and gets ready at 8 am while everyone else is sound asleep.
The mom of A1-3 joins D1 while she's getting ready and asks what time she'll be back as the kids said something about going to brunch. D1 is completely surprised and says she was not aware of this plan. A1's mom explains that sometime during the night (3-5 AM), A1 briefly woke up their mom and informed her that they're going to try to go to brunch. A1's mom has no further details to give. No idea what time they'll wake up, what time they'll leave, or where they're going. D1 states it's only Sunday mass which takes about an hour. She should be back by 10:30. D1 also assumes that surely someone will reach out to her with a proper invite and/or details of time + place.
D1 is out of the church by 10:30. She has not received any texts or calls. She assumed they must still be asleep then. D1's mom calls C1's dad for directions to a store to do some shopping. Family D arrives at the store by 11 and shops for an hour. D1 still did not receive a call or text from anyone.
D returns to C's house at 12. D1 asks where are the other kids. C1's mom states they left...an hour ago.
The kids do not return for another 2 hours.
If you were A1, at what point would you have reached out to D1?
Or do you expect D1 to reach out to you and ask for the details?
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If you expected D1 to reach out to you, you don't need to read any further. As you might have deduced, I was D1. From the get-go I felt uninvited to this brunch. I never once received a text or call from anyone, asking if I was interested, if I was able to come, or even simply where I'm at.
The reason I'm asking here is because I no longer speak to family A. A1, A2, and their mother insist that they have done no wrongdoing. According to A1, the invitation came through their mother. Me going to church and then the store indicated I had other priorities. And when I asked why no one could bother to send a text, A1 states she wasn't going to chase after me.
So AITJ for asking for a text/call about brunch?
EDIT: The problem stems from the fact that I stopped speaking to family A. It has been a month since this happened. Family A believes my silence is unwarranted, given the reasons stated in the previous paragraph. I believe my silence is warranted - I did not make the plan, I was not involved in the making, and I was not explicitly invited. Hence, why I'm asking if I'm the jerk for having expected them to text me.