u/Any-Spirit-6413

Hello! This is my first time posting here and I’ve been lurking for the past few weeks because of my return to work soon.

I found a job that pays great! There are two downsides, though; significant required overtime each week and a 30 minute commute.

I’ve had the brunt of childcare and housework since my husband and I got married because he has always been working. However, now I will be making significantly more money than him in addition to working longer hours with a commute twice as long as his.

He is very supportive but doesn’t have much skill in the kitchen (I LOVE to cook and bake) and another problem is that he has trouble with getting things done around the house while watching our child. I don’t want to have a constantly messy house, but I also can’t continue to do everything around the house with my new schedule. I know that reddit comments are always ruthless against husbands, but I have no intent to leave or separate from him.

For other moms who went through this, what was your adjustment period like? Did you make schedules or rules or just go with the flow?

Scrolling through Threads tonight and I’m seeing a ton of discourse about who’s allowed to celebrate Mother’s Day. This stuff is crazy!! So many people who are proudly childfree (and several who are calling kids “sperm pets” or “fuck trophies”) talking about how it doesn’t matter who gets honored during Mother’s Day because it’s a made up holiday.

No, Jessica, your succulents and cats do not make you a mother😂

Sure, it does not affect me personally who celebrates the holiday but why are we just taking more opportunities to devalue the labor that is motherhood???

I absolutely love breastfeeding and our journey has not been without hiccups but I will be SO sad to stop. I don’t judge how anyone feeds their child, but I’m so tired of seeing breastfeeding positivity posts on social media with the comments just FULL of formula-feeding moms saying “what about me?”

Women are already marginalized enough and it’s so rare that our accomplishments are recognized. Can we not have just one thing that we can celebrate without being torn down by other women or our work being diminished?

Raising a baby is a feat in and of itself and I think that whatever works for each family is great, and people should be proud of themselves for the job they are doing. But not every positive thing about motherhood or raising kids has to include or be sensitive to the feelings of everyone. It doesn’t matter how a baby gets fed! If you go to a preschool or kindergarten, there is no way to tell which children were fed with breastmilk or formula. It IS hard feeding with formula; all the extra dishes and the stress of water safety and shortages and price hikes, I don’t want anyone to think I’m trying to diminish the importance of formula.

All that being said, I love this community and how well we build each other up. Thank you all for being a place where we can feel proud and happy and express our anxieties and worries about this journey we are on.

My baby (7mo) will start going to daycare in late May. I’ve been able to stay home with her until now, but my family is moving and I’m desperate to start up my career again. At home, we contact nap and cosleep because not a single transfer method works.

I know that the workers there know how to handle babies, but I would love to start supporting her transition to independent sleep now. I don’t want to stop cosleeping entirely, but I also really miss being able to spend time with my husband at night and doing anything without her attached to me. But she literally CAN’T sleep by herself. Any tips or experiences would be great!