r/cosleeping

I have an incredibly strong-willed 15mo who is completely dependent on nursing for sleep. He bedshares with us and is waking up anywhere from 2-10x per night to nurse. I am attempting to night wean him because I am eager to begin ovulating again and get pregnant with #3 in the next 6 months.

He is more flexible about sleep during the day and lets me bounce him to sleep for naps. Because of this, I day weaned him for a while to see if that would be enough to bring my cycle back. It was not enough. So now I’m kind of accepting that I’ll likely need to night wean or wean altogether to begin ovulating.

All that to say, this child gets BIG mad over any type of soothing at night other than nursing. I’m talking screaming, thrashing, rolling around, arching, the works. I obviously am trying to do this as gently as possible and with a very limited amount of tears. I’m wondering if anyone has tips for weaning this type of temperament? I have been trying to implement the Pantley Pull-Off over the past few days and am hopeful. I also don’t want to just have my husband take over completely at night. Any thoughts are appreciated!!

Shew. Maybe I’m just looking for solidarity… but does anyone else have their husband in a different room right now? My bat has been cosleeping with me since he was a few months of age. My toddler was waking up in the middle of the night and coming in, and since I don’t feel safe having all FOUR of us in the bed, my husband moved to an air mattress to co sleep our toddler. Now here we are at the almost one year mark and I don’t think either one of us know what we are doing or how to fix it. Baby cosleeps with me in bed. Husband is cosleeping with toddler on a mattress in a different room. Miss my husband in bed with me so much, but I don’t think I’d get much sleep at all if all four of us were in here.

I had bought a crib for baby when I was nesting and never anticipated I’d cosleep…fast forward my baby will be a year old and the crib remains untouched. When did you decide it was time to let it go? Did you decide to keep it just in case and eventually need it? I’m afraid to let it go and he’ll decide he wants to sleep on his own.

I have a 21 month old and I have been able to cut him down to 2 feedings a day. It was rough but worked out. but now I have a problem I kept the going to sleep feeding and nap feeding. I need to get rid of the nap feeding now. He has always had a very bad latch because of a high pallet and I can't take the pain I've been in every day for almost two years. Also I'm hoping cutting it to one feed until he's two will make the last one easier to end.

I tried yesterday and since we bed share he wouldn't even stay in the bed just kept screaming away from me on the floor. When I finally got him to stay in bed he wouldn't lay down just sat there screaming for 40 minutes and yawning and I still didn't give in and he ended up refusing a nap all together so I let him leave the room after an hour and 20 minutes of screaming.

I feel awful. I don't know how to get him to lay down. I don't know what to do to calm the screaming. I told him stories. I sang his favorite songs. I tried rubbing his back and head and he just would get mad and throw my hand away from him. Any moms that weaned this way and were successful please help.

Hi guys,

I’m usually an easy sleeper. I’ve never had trouble falling asleep at night. But within the last few weeks, I have had such a hard time shutting my brain off and I often just lay there with my eyes closed while my brain is going a million miles an hour for quite a while before actually falling asleep. It has been really hard because my little guy seems to be starting to sleep better after this “4 month leap” (he’ll be 5 months in a couple of weeks). He was walking almost every hour for a few weeks, but I think we are phasing out of that. He usually goes to bed around 7/7:30 and I’m in bed with him every night nursing to sleep, so once he’s out I’ll usually watch a little show, then around 8:30/9 my laptop is off, it’s dark, sound machine on and I try to fall asleep too. He has been staying asleep for 4+ hour stretches (so until about 11/12) and I really try to catch a few hours with him before he wakes up. Unfortunately, though, my brain has been in fight or flight mode. I’m grumpy (not with baby), I’m tired, I want to sleep and for some reason I just can’t. I try counting in my head, meditating, like reeeeaaaallllyyy trying to turn out the lights on the inside- but nothing. I’m probably sleeping around 3/4 hours a night because it’s so bad.

Anyone have any advice? Is melatonin frowned on while cosleeping? Help!

I wanted to share this newer development of my baby’s sleep skills for parents of younger babies who also adore cosleeping, but wonder when independence happens.

I have been cosleeping from birth. We exclusively contact napped for months until he developed a comfort in the car seat.

Baby has been needing less cuddles during nighttime sleep, and has been having much longer stretches. His wake ups have went down from 3-11, to 1-2.

These changes made me feel like he might be ready to try independent napping in the house, and he has been successfully been taking 1.5 hr naps during the day! I truly did not see this day coming, but my gut told me it was time.

Trust your instincts. Love your babies. Support and nourish them as they develop and practice their skill of sleeping.

Disclaimer: Very unfortunately, my breastfeeding journey came to an end about a month ago. I don’t know if this has contributed to his change in sleep patterns, but I would delay these changes if it meant a longer breastfeeding journey.

Much love and strength and cozy memories to all that have made it this far down my post.

I posted this in breastfeeding as well but didn't want to include the cosleeping bit. My baby is 9mo now and we are just 3 months away from a year of EBF. I think knowing that it's coming up and we're so close to the "finish line" (we'll continue going after 1yr, it's just that that's our absolute minimum) it's creating anxiety for me. I'm afraid of my milk randomly drying up or my supply dropping drastically. I just need some support. Babe is still nursing 4-6x a day and then whatever she's having overnight which I don't keep track of as we cosleep so she just latches on and off all throughout the night. Is it realistic for my milk to suddenly drop or dry up completely at this point? Or are we almost certain to make it to at least a year?

My boys are 15 weeks. One of them is in bed with me and the other in a bedside bassinet, however he’s getting too big for it and he’s getting ready to roll so I’d like to have them both in bed with me. I only have a queen size bed and plan to put it on the floor in the corner of the room. Any tips appreciated

I have a 21 month old and I have been able to cut him down to 2 feedings a day. It was rough but worked out. but now I have a problem I kept the going to sleep feeding and nap feeding. I need to get rid of the nap feeding now. He has always had a very bad latch because of a high pallet and I can't take the pain I've been in every day for almost two years. I'm hoping cutting it to one feed until he's two will make the last one easier to end. I tried yesterday and since we bed share he wouldn't even stay in the bed just kept screaming away from me on the floor. When I finally got him to stay in bed he wouldn't lay down just sat there screaming for 40 minutes and yawning and I still didn't give in and he ended up refusing a nap all together so I let him leave the room after an hour and 20 minutes of screaming. I feel awful. I don't know how to get him to lay down. I don't know what to do to calm the screaming. I told him stories. I sang his favorite songs. I tried rubbing his back and head and he just would get mad and throw my hand away from him. Any moms that weaned this way and were successful please help.

Hey ! whenever my baby (6.5 months old) used to fuss or get agitated in his sleep, I used to be able to relatch him in the side lying position and we’d both blissfully fall back asleep.

for a couple of weeks now, side lying hasn’t been enough: he latches but keeps getting more and more agitated, flailing his arms and banging them against me or the bed, unlatching and crying out, until he ultimately wakes up.

The only way I can get him to settle is by picking him up, sitting up and feeding him in the laid back or cradle position. It started happening gradually but now he never settles with side lying even when I try holding him, patting him, restricting his arms or pressing my boob to get a stronger flow.

The only problem is I wake up more fully and my nights are less restful. And I risk (and have) falling asleep in an unsafe position.

Has anyone been through this ? did it eventually resolve on its own ? did you do anything to fix it ? did it stay this way forever ? is it likely to be a flow issue, a latch issue, or a stimulation issue (needing to be contained?)

Thanks to anyone who’d share their experience !

Hello everyone! After quite a tumultuous journey with cosleeping, starting from pure need to now willingly and wholeheartedly cosleeping every night with my 1 year old boy, I am looking for some support as to how would I know that he is ready to move to his own bed? When did this happen for you? And was there a process you followed or did you see some signs? I will happily continue cosleeping but I am just thinking about the next steps and what that could look like for us.

For the past month and a half my baby (7.5 months) has been having a 1-2.5 hr wake window starting at 1-3 am. It feels like actual torture. Sometimes she’s just moving around and vocalizing but it’s also a lot of crying and fussing. Tonight she woke up at 3 and is still up at 5:30. My son’s going to wake up in half an hour and I honestly just want to cry.

She has a lot going on, she’s on the verge of real crawling (instead of army crawling), she’s had a stuffy/runny nose for over two weeks, and she’s probably teething her lateral incisors on the top. She’s also eating a good amount of solids.

Average day for her is up at 6am, nap at 10ish (1-2 hrs) and another nap at 3ish (I always wake her up by 4:15 at the latest. Bedtime around 7-7:30. Should I shorten naps or try to drop the second all together?

My son was a terrible sleeper and woke every 1-2 hrs for the first year which was a different kind of hell. He never had long wake periods in the night. But at least I could sleep in with him or nap w him. I don’t have that option anymore and I feel like my sanity is hanging on by a thread.

Any advice?

Baby girl is 5 months now and we have coslept since we got home from the hospital. I am a lucky mom because she has slept through the night since she was a month old.

She is starting to crawl/scoot and flips into her stomach seemingly unintentionally multiple times per night. She can roll back to belly, but isn’t as proficient at belly-back, so she ends up waking up and crying because she nods off on her face. Or she gets “stuck” and scared.

It’s adorable, but it’s happening multiple times a night and it’s interrupting my sleep. I cosleep to maximize the amount of quality sleep I get, and whatever other benefits that she gets come second to that. I don’t want to sleep train, but if she keeps this up, I might have to. I suffer with migraines and they come on when I’m not getting good sleep.

We sleep in a cuddle curl, and I’ve considered sort of anchoring her in with my outstretched arm, but wasn’t sure about the safety implications of that. I’ll try just about anything to help her either stay down, or work on getting out of it.

Thanks all!

I need someone who will fall asleep on the phone with me. I don’t know what’s going on but very depressed lately.