u/Andy_othername — reddlx

[Verse] Dreamt again of leaving, theatrics

Once again I’m breathing, curse this

Didn’t linger on the faces of everyone

So damn fixated on being gone

[Pre Chorus] I know a million ways to stop

Yet my heart keeps on

[Chorus] I come around, round, round, round to the idea

(Of stopping)

The feeling fades, and then it’s back, angrier

(Please, stop it)

The feeling fades, a bruise, and then I’m hurt anew

Whether by my own hand or another’s, I’m falling through

[Post Chorus] The universe that never gave me much

Memories I keep in a locked box

People I loved, past tense, move on

I know a million ways, isn’t that the problem?

[Pre Chorus] I know a million ways to stop

Yet my heart keeps on

[Bridge] I book a holiday with the intent

To live to see it, let’s see if I went

When I’m middle-aged and I’m hurting less

I kinda want that, but can’t take much more of this

[Outro] Dreamt again of leaving

(I know a million ways to stop)

Once again I’m breathing

(Yet my heart keeps on)

Dreamt again of leaving

(I know a million ways to stop)

Once again I’m breathing

(Yet my heart keeps on)

(Yet my heart keeps on, on, on, on)

I did my makeup hoping that it’d act as a magnet

Not to bring me all the girls

But to scramble and reset my overactive

Headcase way of getting heard

By my own head, when the violence

From depression

Drowns out making my legs work

Stops me caring, keeps me getting

Myself into scrapes and cuts and wounds

I want my whole life to be smooth

So when there is an imperfection

I’ll nuke the area in question

And it’ll look ugly

And I’ll feel ugly

But the scratchy stinging-nettle feeling

That I’ll never be appealing

Dies down in the aftermath of destruction

So I did my makeup hoping it’d act like

The stuff you use to attract wasps

The stuff that lures and traps and kills them

I want to do that to my wasp-thoughts

I’d take their little throats and cut ‘em

Before they tell me to do the same in kind

I don’t think it’s that uncommon

To want your low mood dead before you die