u/Andrew_Nikolai

Hello, I'm a teenager (13-16).

I'm medically obese and that has been bothering me a lot. But I've been like that since I was a toddler, I was always medically obese.

For the past couple months I've started noticing that I'm trying to limit how much I take in food and feel extremely guilty after eating. I skip breakfasts if I can and almost always dinners. For lunch I ask for very little and for snacks I check the calories and eat a small portion of the one with smaller calories. I like the feeling of being hungry, it brings me pleasure for reasons unknown to me.

If I could I would go no-eating all day for multiple days but my sister tried to pull a fasting method of only drinking water. My parents found out and force me and my siblings to eat at least breakfast and lunch.

I would hate to even admit that I'm starting to develop some sort of an ED (I'm crying as I'm writing this lol).

However I can kinda see where that could come from. I have been bullied for my weight and it is a constant punch line for my family and stuff. I hate it and love it at once.

Don't get me wrong, as a trans man myself, I love the headcanon as much as the next person, because I finally get represented. However it is headcanon, not canon. (But he could be canonically queer trans/genderfluid for all we know)

Every once in a while I see a post "Canonically trans men in anime/animated shows" and they mention saiki k. I usually go in the comments and correct them "Saiki isn't actually canonically ftm trans, it's a headcanon". And then people go in "Well,in the manga he was a girl in the womb so that makes him a ftm trans man!"

Does that mean he was also a rock...? Cuz yknow, you love to leave out the part that he was also a rock in the womb.

Yes he was born a girl, but his parents were expecting a boy the entire time. Misgendered babies can happen so I won't count that. Another thing is, if we was actually transforming to be a guy he's have to transform into a girl to be another thing/person.

I'm just so tired because he's not ftm CANONICALLY even if I love the headcanon. It doesn't make sense 🥀

Me and this other random person got into an argument online.

Whilst I kept insisting that the only Miku that's canon is her voicebank she can look/be whatever you want. However that then isn't canon.

The other person kept insisting that if she can be anything then it must be canon and that every miku is canon.

I've been in the vocaloid community for several years and I've been taught that Miku can be everything but not every Miku is canon. (The only canon being her voicebank)

I just want opinions even if I'm in the wrong. It's just a stupid online argument anyways and I'm not scared to admit that I'm in the wrong.

I just need to get it out. My friend-o-partner will be V.

(I'm sorry if this is chaotic and badly written but I'm tired and on an emotional rollercoaster)

Me and V have met in October/November last year. It was at this school exposition thing and I was amazed by their art. I approached them and we got talking.

Unfortunately they live in a city 2-2.5 hours away which is not doable for me. Coincidentally I'll be going to a school there in September.

I fell for them while we were texting and getting to know around December. I was just straight up with them and told them so they could let me down whilst it was fresh. Surprisingly enough, they didn't. I don't remember the exact response but it wasn't denying anything. It's also worth mentioning I think this is love? I never experienced anything beyond crushes before.

So my feelings grew and grew until they became this weird overbearing thing. I know it'll eventually be harmful to both of us.

I love them more than anything. I would do anything for them. Whatever pains them pains me too. Maybe even more than them. I feel like the best way to describe it would be The Summer Hikaru Died and they're Yoshiki whilst I'm Hikaru. I'm trying not to be too caring and stuff since we're not a couple and I don't do online dating.

Recently they tried to take their life and are currently at the mental hospital. As much as I'd love to pretend I feel bad and sad, I feel like I failed them. That I failed them and I cannot be enough. I thankfully didn't try to harm myself for that (as I'm 2 months clean) but I feel ill and like I'm gonna throw up. This probably comes from a deep sense of insecurity that I have.

TL;DR; Me and V have this weird platonically-romantic relationship, my feelings grew too much into this unhealthy mass and recently things went downhill real bad and I feel responsible