The past year, I've been getting over someone I am acquaintances with. I keep myself busy, briefly dated another person, asked a couple more out, yet I still for some reason this person keeps ringing in my head. I want it to stop. I know its not real, i know its an idealization, i just dont know how to just fully forget about them. any advice?
I feel like my whole life i just constantly have had people that when I'm not around, I don't exist. This means they rarely reach out to me first. Or if we make plans, it seems often they make plans with others after and forget about mine and i get left behind. What do I do to make new friends that this doesn't happen?
I'm sure this has been asked a million times before, I just get so confused when I feel like I vibe with someone as more than a friend (which is rare) they do not reciprocate the same interest back. I don't think I treat them in a way that's like insanely different from how I treat friends (of any sex), in the sense of avoiding or constantly needing to communicate. Its hard because my friends (and i believe) I am pretty good looking (not a model but not out of average) with cool hobbies and style but just its hard to feel like you don't have your person.
Transparently this is half a vent post that I just feel deflated because Its so hard to find people I really want to be with and it just makes me feel so romance starved that so far my whole life I haven't had that mutual click :/
I struggle heavily feeling connected with people. People wave to me, people enjoy my presence, but no one craves me the way I crave them. If I walk by I have to initiate often to be there, if i want to hang out I need to initiate. I feel in the back of my mind I am tolerated but not loved. People see me as safe to vent to but not for me to be friends with, and its rare someone texts me first. What am I doing wrong? How do I find people where I want to be around them but they also want to be around me enough to reach out or offer a reschedule date, because it seems its either one or the other.
This past week its been very challenging on me, feeling like its just over and the bonds I desire will never happen, or if they do it will be so far down the line that I just will not even be able to be myself at that point. I just feel so awful that this chapter of my life is closing and I wasn't able to be happy or find my people when I tried so so so hard.
Is it some sort of social skill issue that is preventing me from actually being within my friends inner circle, and just keeping me on the periphery/not remembered if im not there?
I am about to graduate in a couple weeks and I keep bursting into tears in public. The past week i just keep crying when seeing people take grad pictures or having fun together and I look back and realize I had a horrible college experience overall, and wish so many things went differently. I keep grieving the memories ill never get to make, and people I somehow cant get close to. I just feel so awful that this chapter of my life is closing and I wasn't able to be happy or find my people when I tried so so so hard. It’s awful and dehumanizing being the person I am right now, constantly hearing people laugh and smile and I try so hard to keep it in but the dam just keeps bursting. People wave to me, people enjoy my presence, but no one craves me the way I crave them. If I walk by I have to initiate often to be there, if i want to hang out I need to initiate. I feel in the back of my mind I am tolerated but not loved. People see me as safe to vent to but not for me to be friends with, or to actually remember me when im not around.