I (25M) started dating my girlfriend (25F) at the beginning of this year, and everything has been going really well. I genuinely feel like I want to spend the rest of my life with her.
Early on in the relationship, we talked about our pasts. I had only been with one person before, in a long-term relationship that lasted about four and a half years and ended last year. She told me she had been with two people, one in a six-year relationship and another shorter relationship that lasted a few months. I was completely fine with this and understood that everyone has a past, especially after going through breakups and emotional situations.
A couple of months later, we had a heated discussion because something she mentioned didn’t line up with what she had told me before. I understand that no one is obligated to share everything about their past, and I do appreciate that she eventually chose to be more open with me. During that conversation, I found out she had also had a few flings and described it as a promiscuous phase and that her total number of partners is actually seven, including me.
The number itself bothers me but I can accept that, but what’s been difficult is that she wasn’t honest about it at the start. It also didn’t sit well with me that she initially tried to cover up one of the guys, someone she had hooked up with a few months before meeting me, especially since I had already made it clear I’m not comfortable with her staying connected to people she’s been involved with in the past.
Since then, we’ve talked things through, cleared the air, and moved forward. However, I still find myself thinking about it a lot, even months later. It’s starting to affect me with negative thoughts. She says she was always planning to tell me, but I feel like I had to push to get the truth, and now I can’t help but wonder if there’s anything else she hasn’t told me.
When we’re together, everything feels great. We genuinely enjoy each other’s company, and I love being with her. She’s told me she’s fully committed and even talks about getting married. But I still overthink things and sometimes question whether she’s settling for me or if she might still be thinking about other people.
She also wants to get engaged and married very very soon.
I don’t want to break up with her. I just want advice on how to deal with these thoughts and move past this?