u/Altruistic_Most3492

My now ex and me explored this lifestyle together. In the beginning we had a few FMF. I didn’t really enjoyed it as the focus was always on the other girl, got a bit better after I spoke up about it. However, I am also not Bi and my experience was that it is somehow expected that girls make out with each other?! Anyway we stopped FMF as he also got exhausted to please to women.

He introduced MFM and I think he got more into this than me. He basically wanted it every weekend and I needed to say no multiple times until he accepts it. I found it exhausted as from my side there were things not going well and I needed a break from this, also to reconnect with him and to have an open talk about the last experiences.

He said I suppost to now organise another fmf as he is doing the MFM just for me. I grew reluctant on that as I didn’t even want the MFM and kept talking g about it, showing pictures and so on. Eventually I organised one but left them play together as I was t interested.

Recently he reached out to let me know that with his partner, who is bi, it’s so much fun to explore the lifestyle and he was disappointed that I was hesitant to try out FMF with him. I haven’t responded yet..

I am actually furious as I told him I can’t do this every weekend and in the end only gave in to MFM because he kept talking about it. I didn’t have the energy and desire to organise and look for an unicorn…

But now I wonder was I being selfish?

My now ex bf and me were experimenting with swinging. It somehow got out of hand… I am not sure if he developed an addiction, or if it is something else. It started as groupsex, he later developed and obsession to make me sleep with strangers. In the beginning he was engaging in those activities too but towards the end he was just watching or playing with his phone. He recruited the guys via forums or apps, or met them at parties.

One time he told me at my place he wants to invite friends before going out. I said sure. Only one guy showed up who my ex met through an app. He tried to convince me to give head to this guy but I refused. It was deeply unsettling. I asked him afterwards what this shit is and he should not do it again.

However he came another time with a stranger again but I kicked all of them out. But before he managed to push me on my knees and trying to force me to put two dicks inside my mouth.

The last time he said he was at a team event from work close to my place. As he had the keys he just wanted to come over later in the evening. When he arrived, I was wearing my Pyjama. There was also another stranger. I froze. It was unsettling and I felt uncomfortable as I wasn’t wearing my glasses and was ready to go to bed but my bf tried to convince me to have sec with this guy. I asked them to leave

Stupid me didnt break up but my bf started to invite guys over and set things up… so they usually arrived but eventually I was tired of saying no and performed my act.

I sometimes wonder if he payed them. When we finished he was usually the one who accompanied them to the exit while I was dressing up. But maybe I am paranoid.

I am now disgusted by anything sexual. I managed to hold my no later and we broke up. He is already seeing someone else and wanted to pick up his things. He showed up with this girl and when I went to another other room to get his things they started to make out. I was lost and shocked . I wanted them to stop but thought it’s worthless to try. I went back to the other room and wanted to throw up. He showed up after a while and tried to convince me to join, taking me back to the room where they made out. but I refused and told them I am disgusted and left crying. They kept having sex and eventually left after finishing (?!).

I wonder how I could be so wrong about him as a person. I wonder why his he doing this?