I started dating my boyfriend on February 14, 2025. Our relationship was very intense from the beginning, with a lot of love and time spent together. But over time, there were several instances of disrespect that started to affect me. First, he would constantly like videos of girls on TikTok showing their bodies. I told him it made me uncomfortable, but he kept doing it until I almost left him. Then he became addicted to pornography, something he knew hurt me even more. He promised to stop, but it was only temporary.
Then something worse happened: he texted a friend of mine saying he wanted her to give her virginity to him. I found out through screenshots. Even so, I forgave him. The next situation was with another friend. He sent her sexual messages, saying he wanted to sleep with her and that he had touched her body before and liked it. Again, I found out through screenshots. I forgave him again, but from that point on, I started to feel resentment toward him, even though I stayed in the relationship.
Some time later, I found pornography on his phone again, along with video chat sites with naked women and apps like Omegle. That completely destroyed me emotionally. Still, I forgave him again because he said he would change.
Months later, I reconnected with a former friend of his. We started talking and got along really well. I began to feel attracted to him. At a party, we kissed. After that, we agreed to take three months to get to know each other before starting anything serious. All of this happened while I still had feelings for my ex.
My ex became suspicious, checked my phone, caused a jealous scene, and even involved my family. At that moment, I decided to break up with him. But after the breakup, I felt guilty and confused. I reached out to him again, told him I missed him, and considered getting back together.
Now I feel completely torn: I love my ex—he was my first in many things, we shared a lot, and even though he hurt me, I feel like he has tried to change. But I also like this new person; he treats me well and it feels like something new, even though I don’t have the same emotional history with him. My family prefers my ex. I feel bad because, at some point, I was emotionally involved with both of them.
I don’t know what to do. I feel like if I choose one, I lose something important with the other. And I also feel guilty about the whole situation.