AITAH for cutting ties with a friend who went through a rough divorce?
My friend (F50) just went through a pretty bad divorce.
Some background: When she married, she moved to her husband's place in another country, they had a kid together a lived for about 4 years together.
One day she escaped her home as she felt threatened (I don't have all the details) and decided to ask for divorce and get custody of her child.
She moved back to the country where I live and after not heading anything from her for about 2 years she sends me a text saying she's back and wanna hang out.
I offer to meet up on the next Sunday and receive no reply from her. About a week later she asks if I'm available on that day to meet for dinner so I say yes.
The whole dinner is about how bad her divorce went, how terrible her ex husband is (a person that she asked me to become friend with before to make it easier to hang out all together) and how difficult it is to be a single mom. She's incredibly rude with the staff and the restaurant and it makes me feel awful. I just go home drained of my energy and usual happiness.
About a week later she asks to meet again and makes it a big deal to pick a proper place to eat since her child (3 yo) is picky and only likes to eat at certain places (apparently she's scared of overweight people so wont' go to place A because the waiter is not fit, won't go to place B because the lights are too dim and so on) so after an hour of debate we finally find a place that suits her.
Same stories again about her ex husband, how though it is to be a single mom, kid screaming after a while because she's getting tired and so on.
I go home sad an exhausted again.
About a month later she asks that I come to her place for dinner with another friend on the next day. I do agree and clear my day up to make time for her. On the next morning she texts me that she has a hangover that today's plans are cancelled (not a sorry or any kind of apology).
After all this, I decide that it would be better to meet less frequently since it starts to take a toll on me. So when she asks to meet, I would sometimes say that I already have plans or that I'm not available.
A month later when she asks me for lunch outside, I do agree and ask her to make it something easy. Her first reply is "define easy?". That sort of triggers me and I say that I would prefer to rest on that day instead.
She replies asking me if I'm trying to avoid her. I think it's better not to reply and let things cool down a bit.
On that evening she sends another message saying that she got the hint and asks what she did for me to become avoidant.
I reply her about her way to not reply or cancel plans without offering an apology and tells her that this makes me feel like my time has no value and that it also makes me feel like I'm a disposable thing.
It did make me feel really bad and I questioned myself as whether I was a bad person for not being here for her more, could barely sleep and was feeling down on the next day.
No reply from her after one day
So I send another message to explain how bad it makes me feel, that I think I've been a good friend for years, always ready to help but that if she won't respect my time and will complain that I avoid her for simply saying that I wanna rest or if I'm not available every time she asks, it would be better for me to just walk away.
She never replied, and I feel pretty bad about the way I acted. On the other end, I don't wanna continue a friendship with such dynamics.