u/AllGodsDie

What do you guys think we're going to see in this set?

Typically I would be get ready for need by 9-930 and asleep by 11 and up by about 8. I've been off work for awhile now and I will be for a couple more months at least but that's not the issue. The issue is that I started having to stay up a little longer for the last few weeks but it has thrown everything off severely and I mean severely. I pushed it back a bit so I'd be in bed at 11 and asleep by 12:30ish so that should mean up at like 9? 930? Instead I'm sleeping until 1 or 2PM! I have alarms set with backup alarms and I don't even remember waking up to the alarms at all because of how heavy I'm sleeping. There's been a couple times I've been up before 1 but I just end up nodding off a bunch. What the hell is going on. I take medication at night but I've been on the same ones for years. The only change is work but even before that it was working from home on the computer. I hate this.

I've rented from my landlord since 2019 and there's never been any serious issues between us just reasonable requests. I live in basically a 1 bedroom place with a living room, bedroom, bathroom and kitchen so there's a good amount of space and it's above his garage. His house is on the other side of a door in my place. One of my ex girlfriends rented here before me and when she moved I moved in. She had a cat that he was aware of (she even gave him a pet deposit) and he was fine with it. Once I moved in I was planning on getting a cat at one point but I wanted to wait. About 3 years ago I asked him if he was cool with me getting a cat and I mentioned that my ex had one. His reply was no you can't and no she never had one. I was thrown off. He knew about the cat, he saw the cat as it went outside as well. Right now I'm at a really low point in my life and I could really use a cat to just take care of and love, I've had a few over my life and I know how to care for one. What should I do? I was thinking of just getting one and not mentioning it but the issues with that are A: deceiving him. B: he could find out by hearing it or perhaps seeing it in the window sill (but I figure I can also train the cat to not go on the window sill) and C: I just feel bad if I lie. I'm just frustrated since he knew about the other cat. If the place I live in had carpeting and like drapes and stuff I would understand more but the floors are ceramic tile floor and the windows have the basic blinds set up. Any suggestions..? I know moving is an option but I want to try and stay where I am because it's affordable, I live alone, it's in a good safe area.

he life I live currently is so far removed from the life and person I was 10-15 years ago. I'll skip the childhood stuff but it was a lonely childhood. Once I hit my adult years things got much better. Friends all around. People I considered brothers and sisters for life. The last 6 years things shifted drastically. Some people passed away, some people got lost in addiction and then homelessness and the other ones moved far away. I had a couple people I talked with daily but those fell apart because I wasn't fun to be around anymore.. the depression and anxiety was my whole identity. My father and brother lived together in a nearby city and my brother really did save my dad's life by getting him off the streets and sober. We reconnected in 2021 and I would visit them ever couple months for a week or so. My brother and I have always had a rocky relationship but my dad was like a calming presence and when I visited it all felt relaxed. My dad passed away a couple years ago and it still fucks with me to this day and I miss him so much. Recently I've been doing trauma counseling for stuff I went through and it's been helping greatly but the other week something clicked in my head that I never really realized before and that's the fact that my brother and I have no other family left. They all passed other than my dad before I was 34. We lost everything one time and I mean everything.. pictures, family heirlooms, family tapes, anything family related was gone but we had each other. My brother and i talk daily through text but we can't hang out because we are both so different energy wise and mental health wise as well as his struggles with pills while I'm in recovery but as I said something clicked recently and that's the fact that whichever of us dies next means the one alive becomes the last living member of our family. I have no friends really and my anxiety and depression keep me at home all the time and I felt so alone for so long but once I realized what I said.. I fear that moment.. my brother is older so here has a higher chance of passing first and if he does then.. that day will be the day that I will really truly feel what total loneliness is.. no future for the family.. just me all alone without a picture or strong memory to go along with those feelings. I don't know what to do, I don't know how to feel and I just wish I could fully prepare for accepting that time when it comes but.. I can't because this isn't something I have any idea about. Can someone here.. anyone here.. give me some advice?

In Breaking Bad Gus says "i don't believe fear to be an effective motivator" but in BCS he is clearly using fear against Nacho by using his father as the example. I know there's other instances so I'm wondering why they even wrote that as a line for a man who is basically fear incarnate lol