Cheated in open relationship
(This was 2-3 weeks ago as of now, I am now going to therapy weekly to work on myself)
(22M) Me and my partner of 3 years (now ex) opened up our relationship, fast forward a bit and I found someone that I ended up developing feelings for. I kept seeing this person despite my partner saying he was uncomfortable and saying he didn’t like how much I was seeing him.
I knew he didn’t like it and I kept seeing him, and when he tried to stop me I wanted to break up with him because I thought it wasn’t fair. I ended up breaking up with my partner and started being with this new person after weeks of arguing and me being unhappy, my partner (ex) did know I had feelings, I was open about that and didn’t lie to him.
A bit of context on the relationship, I got with my partner because of feelings of loneliness, I never felt the attraction you usually feel for someone at the beginning, at least physically… but over the 3 years I learned to love and adore him, I like to say that we were happy at times, but I feel like I knew something was missing and at times debated with myself if I should breakup, but stayed because I thought it could work and out of fear.
So what should I do… I feel immense shame, guilt and sadness and I feel like I’m not even allowing myself to enjoy this new relationship that I’m in because I feel guilty.