u/Alive-Application-55

What's up pioneer family. I'm going to be doing some traveling digital nomad style for a number of months this year, as well as two camping music festivals.

I have the AZ, and while I love it to death I have to keep it back home while I travel. I was thinking the Omnis Duo would be a perfect companion to bring around the country with me, but since it's been out almost 2 years at this point was wondering if it was still worth buying for this reason or if I should maybe hold off for a refresh (or even consider the Denon portable all in one)

Any thoughts?

My ex-girlfriend and I have been on and off for about a year. I broke up with her originally because the relationship felt unhealthy and I often felt disrespected, criticized, and like my needs came second.

After four months apart, we reconnected. We both said we had worked on ourselves and wanted to rebuild slowly. For the first few weeks, things were better. Communication improved, we spent time together, and there was less resentment.

Then old issues started coming back. One argument happened because she wanted us to keep things private while figuring things out. I agreed, but while drunk I told one close friend and his girlfriend that we were talking again and called her my girlfriend. She was hurt because I had vented to friends/family about our problems in the past. I apologized, but I also felt there was a double standard because she had told her mom, sister, and best friend about us.

That argument escalated. She said she “hated me,” then corrected it to “hated that she loved me.” Afterward, she was distant for a few days with minimal communication. She said she was too angry to talk without blowing up. I felt it was the silent treatment.

We took about two and a half weeks apart. Recently, she came over and apologized. She said she understands now, wants to stop hurting people she loves, and wants to date officially. She brought me a gift and said things would be different. Her apology seemed very genuine, and she cried a lot. I appreciated it, but I still felt unsure because similar promises have happened before.

Some of my main concerns are that she has said hurtful things during the relationship, including that she does not respect me, calling me a “mediocre white man,” questioning my masculinity, joking about me looking gay, and making hurtful comments about me possibly being autistic. She later explains these as jokes, emotional reactions, or things she did not mean. I do believe her - I would describe her humor as crude, probably driven by emotions, and kind of tom boyish.

When I asked for time to think instead of deciding immediately, she got frustrated and said I drag things out, that the issues are minor, and that I had pushed her to her breaking point which is why she made the comments in the argument where she told me she didn't respect me. It honestly is a common trend with her where I genuinely believe she has issues with emotional regulation, which is why she has upped her therapy to x2 a week. That is also a big point as well - I believe she truly is doing the work, in many ways it has gotten slowly better over time (with many hiccups), but I just don't know how long it will genuinely take. I am a loyal person, so it's hard for me to want to give up.

From a repairability perspective where I have gone wrong, is that I have told my friends and family many of the things I've talked about above. In a lot of ways, I do regret it - even though I didn't do it initially, over time it just started coming out. I wish I had worked with her more on it, it's just that some of the comments and things she said were so difficult to process I truly didn't know how to interpret or take some of them.

I know I am not perfect. I crossed her privacy boundary, can get defensive, and may overanalyze things. But I am worried that the same core issues keep repeating: disrespect, double standards, pressure, and my needs feeling secondary.

I still love her and miss her, but I am unsure whether giving this another chance is reasonable or whether I am ignoring a pattern that has already shown itself multiple times.

Last night after a long conversation where she spent much time apologizing, I told her I needed some space before I made a decision and that I would talk to her tomorrow about it.

I'm struggling to understand if I should forgive her and accept the apology - or if it's finally time to part ways from each other.

I ended up breaking up with my ex-gf in September last year, after "dating" for ~4 months. She never was officially my girlfriend, because she insisted on needing a special way for me to ask her - despite taking her on multiple trips around the country, planning her birthday party, etc. I felt like a shell of myself towards the end of it, which is why I broke up with her as I couldn't take getting constantly screamed at, degraded (autistic, fat, white, smelly, etc. - all of which I am none of).

I spent the next couple of months living my life, locking in at the gym and therapy, but also wondering if I had made the right choice to break up with her. I insisted on no-contact, and she still reached out via text multiple times, made clear social media posts to get my attention, etc.

At the end of January, she accidentally called me at 2AM and I had reached a good place with the breakup that it sparked a conversation and I agreed to grab dinner with her. We ended up getting back together, because she told me she had changed.

Months later, and we are pretty much back in the same position. However, this time I've been calmer in every argument, clearly stated what I needed, and pushed back on her BS. Here are some of the arguments we've been in:

• Argued over needing to keep her options open to other guys because of how much the break up hurt her. (despite her pushing to get back together and disregarding the no contact)
• Caught her DMing with other guys in front of me.
• Compared me to her ex-boyfriends or other guys she's been with.
• Didn't talk to me for over two days because I accidentally slipped and called her my GF in front of a few friends
• Screamed at me constantly over any minor inconvenience, during arguments, etc. (so bad that I wish I honestly could have recorded it - but I never did).
• My last straw: Told me mid argument she did not respect me and that I was a mediocre wh*te man.

On multiple occasions when the fights escalated, I communicated I wasn't going to get screamed, demeaned or berated at and told her we needed space to calm down. Once calmed down, she would take accountability or be more open to saying sorry and seeing how her anger or episode she was having was affecting us.

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Since the last comment, where she told me she doesn't respect me and I'm mediocre - which also led to another "breakup" I told her I needed space and to please not contact me till X date (we were both going independently on longer trips).

She contacted me a week later, asking me what I was doing on a Friday and that she had cancelled the first leg of her trip and wanted to bring me flowers and pasta that night. I told her no, and was super upset about her showing that she could not respect what I asked. It's been a week since that incident where she apologized and knew she was taking a risk. We talked today to figure out a time to talk in person, and she mentioned she got me another gift from the place she went - where I told her it felt wrong after telling me she doesn't respect me and I'm mediocre, then taking it all back and telling me she's never loved anyone more than me - to now buying me gifts TWICE. She's mad because she doesn't see the behavior as toxic (I buy her flowers all the time - which is an expectation from her in our relationship) as she loves gifts. For the record, I genuinely can't recall a time where she has ever gotten me a gift. She's given me things she doesn't need anymore - but has never truly ever gave me a gift in the almost the year that we have been on and off.

I guess my question is - when is enough enough and at one point are your partners words true despite them telling you that they didn't mean something?