u/AlienatedBeauty

(Live in the US for context.) I have been in college for psychology and am about to finish my degree, but before college I studied psychology for fun. Human behavior is almost my special interest...

I got into the field because I saw the mind as the key to building a better world ( a huge feat) but in my opinion in order to get anything done it has to first come from the mind, the mind needs to be influenced, how the mind develops is based on so many factors. But even to change the outside, you have to change the mind and what's in it first....but still we are confined to our animalistic biology at the same time....

Anyways, change the mind, change the behavior, get a result. But the more I study it, the more conversations I have, the more I look out into the world, I see the issues we are facing and realize what I thought possible might not be in a sense, I also believe we a running against a clock we refuse to acknowledge. The world needs to change but many people refuse to change, there's all these defensive behaviors and its not that I think most people aren'y good....just maybe not smart, not saying I am more smart but we are easily trapped in our own bias and create truths out of them....then defend them like our life depends on it. There's not a lot of fluidity.

Then governments know this, they know psychology I think better than most. So they use the mind, they weaponize it and people are totally unaware when it is happening. But trying to bring people together against a government that is quite literally slowly killing us....when we are moving into an age where people dont believe in science, prefer AI searchs over real research, get most their information from TikTok without ever even questioning if its real....its looking not so good. And I feel when your whole area of study is of the mind and human behavior, gets hard to ignore.

I can't speak for the whole world though, my country is currently not in the best place and I desire deeply to get it into a better place for all people without blood shed. The world that needs to be built for not just humans but nature to thrive....is attainable but it would require getting a lot of mind to change...against a clock I think we all feel ticking.

My (F29) partner (M30) admits porn affects his sex life?

To keep it short, I’ve been dating this person for about 3 months now but have known him for over a year. Through mutual friends and community spaces.

Anyways when we started dating, he was hesitant to do the full deed in the bedroom but we’ve had a lot of fun in many other ways. Though as intimacy builds I find myself craving being closer. He’s tried here and there but things start off fine but usually he loses his erection after a few minutes.

I was starting to feel insecure until one day I saw pills that help with ED in his closet when I was looking for a sweater, prescribed to him before we started dating, which made me feel better.

So of course, I talked to him about it. He said that honestly after I read something to him (another Reddit story about something called a death grip, basically losing sensation due to too much masturbation.) that he realized that might be the issue. He opened up and said he needs to decrease how much he watches it (I’m a person who personally doesn’t care if my partner watches it or not.)

Recently he has been bringing it up more, usually after we have had a few drinks saying he wants to stop watching it, it honestly makes me sad because I can see he feels a lot of shame and he’s like it’s effecting my relationship, well my relationship with you.

Though I’ve been trying to just hold space for it while he figures it out but now I’m at the point of

How can I help him? How do you feel supported from a partner? What advice could I give while also making sure he know I’m with him not against him?

I feel he thinks he is failing me because he knows I want closer intimacy (even though we still have ways to have our fun) but also I love him and want to help him work through it without shaming him.

He also mentioned that when he actually cares about someone it basically gets worse because where there’s no stakes involved then it just doesn’t matter if things go wrong or right….

To keep it short, I’ve been dating this person for about 3 months now but have known him for over a year. Through mutual friends and community spaces.

Anyways when we started dating, he was hesitant to do the full deed in the bedroom but we’ve had a lot of fun in many other ways. Though as intimacy builds I find myself craving being closer. He’s tried here and there but things start off fine but usually he loses his erection after a few minutes.

I was starting to feel insecure until one day I saw pills that help with ED in his closet when I was looking for a sweater, prescribed to him before we started dating, which made me feel better.

So of course, I talked to him about it. He said that honestly after I read something to him (another Reddit story about something called a death grip, basically losing sensation due to too much masturbation.) that he realized that might be the issue. He opened up and said he needs to decrease how much he watches it (I’m a person who personally doesn’t care if my partner watches it or not.)

Recently he has been bringing it up more, usually after we have had a few drinks saying he wants to stop watching it, it honestly makes me sad because I can see he feels a lot of shame and he’s like it’s effecting my relationship, well my relationship with you.

Though I’ve been trying to just hold space for it while he figures it out but now I’m at the point of

How can I help him? Has anyone else had experience with this with their partner?

I feel he thinks he is failing me because he knows I want closer intimacy (even though we still have ways to have our fun) but also I love him and want to help him work through it without shaming him.

He also mentioned that when he actually cares about someone it basically gets worse because where there’s no stakes involved then it just doesn’t matter if things go wrong or right….