u/Alarming-Tomato-7158

just venting i'll feel better tomorrow. But someone posted and gushed about my f/os "canon" partner in another ficto sub. Which triggered me to doomscroll through my f/os tag and expose me to more shipping content 💔 it's 99% shipping with my f/os fandom i hate it

I feel embarrassed that it affects me this much but i genuinely feel repulsed and sick and my heart can't stop pounding. It's a genuine trigger for me idk why. Plus my f/os "canon partner" reminds me so much of my abuser ik that probably sounds insane but it grosses me out like i don't want to believe my partner would ever love someone like that. And they don't, the ship doesn't even make sense it was fanservice.

I really feel so much safer in ficto communities, yall are so chill and i love seeing your f/os, but i can't believe people are spam-posting canon ships in selfshipping places. I'm living every yumeshippers worst nightmare by being with my f/o, my notp is everywhere, i can't even watch the show anymore

Sorry for the depressing rant i hope yall have a good day with your f/os! 🩷💓❤️🧡💚💙💜

Just venting about my failing health problems //

i'm mourning my old life when i was healthy i have been chronically ill for a few years and i have felt so much worse the past year. It triggers my death anxiety so bad. i feel so fatigued and dead inside most days like i'm not even alive and that makes my anxiety worse.

I'm also depressed about experiencing pain every day like it never ends. I get horrible heart pain i had an ekg scan and they said nothing was wrong. But i still get heart/chest pain almost every day. And i just dread dying of a heart attack it's a huge fear because i can't imagine how painful that would be when i already expereice heart pain every day.

And I dread having migraines or waking up with menstrual pain because i have had syncope episodes from that before. I genuinely thought i was dying the first time it happened. Like why tf do i have to bleed once a momth and never know if i'm gonna wake up in severe pain or if it will be mild pain. I was so much healthier and happier even just a year ago im just in pain all the time now. And pain is guaranteed for everyone. I dread dying im going to be in so much pain it scares me i have had enough

Idk im just mourning my health and im turning 24 in a week im dreading it