u/Alarmed_Basket_5824

since the new year i've been stuck in a binge restrict cycle after attempting recovery

the weight gain has made me suicidal, i've gone from severely underweight to almost a healthy bmi entirely against my will, it happened through binging

i don't know how to stop, i have no clue how to eat normally. i know binging is caused by restriction, i know that the harder i restricted / the longer i fasted to compensate for the binge, the worse the next binge would be, but idk how to stop

i thought i could try high restricting or eating at my bmr or something instead of low restricting but the guilt is too much, and when i do eat over my bmr it triggers a binge anyway because i think ive already ruined the day so why not

i hate food so much, it has ruined my life, please someone help me

trying to think up a name for my oc, shes a nature fairy child with auburn hair, freckles, wearing green, in personality i imagine she's very sweet but a bit cheeky and mischievous

some names similar to what i'm looking for

susie

maggie

nellie

nora

sybil

greta

daisy

hazel

ginny

peggy

molly

olive

i don't know what to do. i feel so disgusting but i just cannot face being aware of my body

i gained some weight in recovery from anorexia and its made my body dysmorphia so much worse. worst part is i'm not even healthy yet, if i feel this bad at my current weight how bad would i feel at a healthy weight?

i got some new clothes for christmas and my birthday but i still haven't changed clothes, i really want to try new outfits on and feel pretty but i hate being aware of my body and my weight