u/Aggravating_Post_464

I’m an attractive man, and have intentionally had an inactive dating life over the previous few years.

If I decided to re enter the dating market, this is a concern. I’m an introvert. A very private one.

Multiple friends of mine have had inaccurate statements about them posted by users on the tea app.

One guy told someone something really personal that he never shares, and it was posted on the tea app. Afterwards, everyone at his job found out and it has obviously affected him.

Some people don’t want information about them being leaked to the public. Even if it’s not bad.

This was posted out of curiosity. Not trying to demonize the app users in any way, or say the app isn’t useful for anything (never been on it).

I’m just curious of if you guys have any strategies to maintain privacy while dating with the existence of apps like this

I’m an attractive man, and have intentionally had an inactive dating life over the previous few years.

If I decided to re enter the dating market, this is a concern. I’m an introvert. A very private one.

Multiple friends of mine have had inaccurate statements about them posted by users on the tea app.

One guy told someone something really personal that he never shares, and it was posted on the tea app. Afterwards, everyone at his job found out and it has obviously affected him.

Some people don’t want information about them being leaked to the public. Even if it’s not bad.

This was posted out of curiosity. Not trying to demonize the app users in any way, or say the app isn’t useful for anything (never been on it).

I’m just curious of if you guys have any strategies to maintain privacy while dating with the existence of apps like this

I am not very fond of my cousin, as we’ve had our disagreements, so I didn’t expect to be the one to defend his actions.

But honestly, this wasn’t about him. It was more about me, and the few other introverts in my family that value privacy.

His upcoming marriage is this big secret. Well it’s a semi-secret now, because he already told someone. 

Yup, in this family, “secrets” tend to travel, and it eventually found its way to me. Tell someone that something is private, and they’ll spread the word like it’s headline news. 

Here’s a spoiler for you: Outside of my immediate family, majority of my relatives do not like the idea of others’ keeping things private. 

On multiple occasions, as long as I can remember, my family has always condemned privacy, including the person who told me about my cousins marriage. 

After telling me, he says, “he especially said not to tell Aunt Connie.” 

He then goes on this rant about the family being secretive, condemns my cousin for not telling his aunt about the marriage, and looks at me to see if I agree with him. 

After a couple seconds of quiet staring, I respond.

“Tell me something.. (I pause for a second. You have to seduce my family into listening because they’re not good listeners.) 

If I’m a private person.. and I share something private with Aunt Connie, and she tells someone, does she value my privacy, or not value my privacy?..  So, if she doesn’t value my privacy.. what sense does it make for me to share private matters with her?”

That was the end of the conversation. 

I think this question was partially directed at me because I’m one of the most private individuals in the whole family. 

And quite frankly, I’m not sorry about it. 

If you want my secrets, you’ll have to read my journal. Good luck breaking into my place and trying to find it. 

Any introverts out there find your friends/family/coworkers attempting to pry into your private matters?

What are your thoughts on maintaining privacy?