u/Aggravating-Golf7727

Hi!! I’m so sorry there must be thousands of posts like this on this subreddit hahah but I’m just feeling so anxious after a first date I had!

So i went to a gig by myself a few weeks ago and got approached by a guy, we chatted etc the whole gig and he was really lovely (but very drunk). We exchanged instagrams at the end and he texted straight away, was mortified the next morning lmao. I asked if he wanted to go for a drink maybe a week after and we went on Tuesday (it’s now Thursday). I’ve never had such a good first date before, I had such a lovely time and I’ve never felt so comfortable with someone so fast.

Through the date, he kept talking about things to do and following it with ‘ah, next time!’, implying a second date to me atleast. He walked me back to the station in the end, it was overall just so lovely. He asked if I got home safe a bit later on but since then replies have been a little slow, and I think I’m just spiralling about it. I said I had a great time and thank you so much, he agreed. I think I’m only spiralling because it went so well so now I feel like there’s something to lose, but I’m aware how silly this is after one date😭

I think I’m just now hitting all the what-ifs, what if he only approached at the gig because he was drunk, pity agreed to a date and now doesn’t know how to let me down. Dumb thoughts I know but I can’t seem to stop them lol

I’m definitely going to ask him on a second date if he doesn’t, but I just need to get out of my head about being anxious/overthinky about it and idk how!

hi! :) sorry if this is a bit messy, but i think i just need to get my thoughts out and hopefully maybe get some advice. essentially, i feel like whenever dating or relationships become a 'real' possibility for me, i just hit an invisible wall. it doesn't feel good being near this wall either, it's not like i want to be on the other side of it at all, i want to just run. but, the logical side of me knows that this is just avoidance, and that i probably just need to exposure therapy myself over it and hopefully it'll calm down on the other side?

i'm 22 and have never been in a relationship, hooked up with anyone etc. i've had intense crushes on two of my friends before, which have felt the best (wall-wise!) so far, but they were unfortunately both unrequited. i met a guy off hinge a few years ago and we went on about six(?) dates, but he ended up ending things for unrelated reasons. i feel like i just clam up internally ALL the time, i love a joking flirt or something with no repercussions, but as soon as its something real, its like my stomach drops and i'm suddenly so in my head about it & my gut instinct is to run. i have no idea if its an insecurity thing, avoidant, or plain old fear and anxiety. however,, i do have diagnosed anxiety, and my experience with that is i have to force myself to do things i'm terrified of, otherwise it'll never get any better at all. has this approach ever worked for anyone? i also am definitely not in the financial situation to afford therapy right now, so i'm kinda freeballin' by myself here haha

i got approached by a guy at a gig the other night, and we got on really well, he's attractive, we have been texting since and, as i'm writing this, i know he's about to ask to go for a drink. i can (and will) sit and fantasize about relationships and everything that comes with it and really really yearn for it and want that for myself, but, now it's become a possibility, i'm terrified and don't want to do it

edit sorry!! just some extra bits: i think the best way to describe it kinda is that i wish i could just not deep it so much? like i wish i could approach things how say, a character in a movie or tv show would. things just aren't that deep in reality, but it feels like my whole life is up in arms for no reason whenever i try LMAO