Critique swap available.Timeline is around 2 months at most, it is negotiable though. Here is a blurb of the story I am writing-
Tours has fallen. In a single night, the armies of the Amorian republic shattered a fellow republic. One which had in the millennia past, cradled the restorer of the world and now, the the mother of cities was besieged. For Cyrus Vi Carlyle, crown prince of an Amorian empire that no longer exists and scion of an ancient nearly divine lineage, escape is the beginning of something far worse than humiliation.
Pursued across a dying republic by the woman who knows him better than anyone else alive, advised by a one armed elven regent who lies as naturally as he breathes and saddled with the key to Tours' treasury. Yearning for the memories of a far simpler era,Cyrus must decide what kind of ruler he is willing to become before his enemies (and allies) decide for him.
Blue Roses Hate Rain is an alt history epic fantasy set in a world where a single being brought magic into the world and whose death plunged it into an Ouroboros like cycle of magic fueled progress and collapse. In a land where real name splits minds, where dinosaurs drink from lilac lakes, where the difference between an empire and a republic is the distance between a crown and a sword.
Here is an excerpt sorry for the length but I think this is very important-
Looking at myself in the mirror, I called out to my faithful knight, Alfred while adjusting my tie-
"Alfred, I require your counsel!"
"I am right here, my lord."
His reply made me look around the room, his bald head was peeking into the room like he was some manner of rogue. I motioned for him to enter while asking-
"Does this look appropriate for a lady I am serious with?"
He smirked at me. Good, he must buy my ruse. Then he angered me-
"Might want to lose the trench coat."
"The trench coat stays on."
I replied and he sighed. Sadly, this is hardly the first time he has tried to rid me of my beloved coat.
"You could show off that body you worked so hard for by dropping that coat. "
"I did not work hard for it, I merely had it when I turned 15."
I rebuked Alfred before taking off my trench coat. The white shirt with the black breeches made me look like a butler. Hm...
"Alfred, find my frilled shirt, the black one."
I told him while finding my purple bow tie. Ah the noblest shroud of them all. Purple, Arthur’s ch-
"Here we go."
The insolent imbecile tossed it in my face but I elected to not complain and changed quickly. But of course, he had to quip again-
"It doesn't look bad, your fashion sense isn't fully gone after all my lord."
I glared at Alfred before leaving. This time, I waded through the entire academy instead of knocking on Li-Catarina's door and having her guide me. After this much time, I know my way around this academy...somewhat.
"You're late."
Catarina's infuriating, sly grin met me at the academy's gates.
"My wardrobe was rising to meet the challenge of casual wear."
Her eyes traced my frilly black sleeves then my flawless purple bow tie before looking down at my velvety breeches then they narrowed-
"You dress like my grandpa."
"I believe you said yours died."
She rolled her eyes and told me-
"It's a phrase anyways, at least it's not a trench coat."
Another attack on the trench coat. I glared but not a single word of argument left my mouth. We had to appear cordial. The eyes I felt on my back had only grown in number as we passed through the ramparts of the academy. Nothing was said between us and the guards as we left either.
"Didn't think you'd wanna walk."
"Since we will spend the entire day in the city, it is imperative to stay physically active."
Catarina nodded as we finally descended into the city. Literally. There was a long slope leading to the academy, it was grey and as uninspired as my father. Finally, we were in the city. I noticed her flowing red blouse and trousers, it prompted the obvious question-
"Why would you wear such an unpleasant color?"
Her face scrunched up into a frown then she said-
"You want me to wear pink or something?"
"No albeit, that would be a major improvement."
She scoffed at my perfectly rational response. We walked beside the wide concrete paved streets with carriages and animals moving about. The tall street lamps drooped above us while the boxy buildings resembled the epitome of Amorian civilization, they were unfortunately decorated with republican flags for the upcoming day of Amor.
"What do you wanna see first?"
She asked and I pulled her close, leaning down to whisper-
"Refrain from asking that question again, we are being observed. We may talk as normal however you have meticulously planned this day as far as our watchers are concerned."
"Got it, also let go of me you p-"
"I merely wished to ensure that they were unable to understand what I was telling you."
I told her as we separated, Catarina nodded slowly. A smile tugged at my face. If she started blushing or the sort, I would not have spoken another word to her till house Carlyle fell.
"New Lancelot has some good dessert houses, I wanted to know which one you wanted to go to."
She said, as if clarifying her earlier question. My smile threatened to grow larger at her aptitude.
"I suppose that I could go for some pastries."
"Talk about basic."
She muttered, my reply put her absurd retort to rest-
"What is so basic regarding a mixture of bread,cream and the craftsmanship which is required to make it? Be it the cream which must be kept at the perfect temperature or the finely baked bread?"
"It's just a pastry, you make it sound like ship building."
She groaned, my hand found her back and she stumbled forward slightly. Those hazelnut eyes flew to my hand.
"That was the basic application of force. A shove did little damage, caused a slight amount of shock and ultimately left me open to a counter attack or scrutiny from anyone with a hint of competence."
Her eyes lit up and she joined me again. Oddly, Catarina was looking at the people in the street before looking at me.
"And you would've broken my arm if you wanted to apply force properly? How does that even relate to master craftsmanship? Both have sophisticated skills?"
I nodded at her proudly. Catarina is smarter than I had previously assumed. Albeit, this is the same woman who wanted to use archers as her only unit in battle. Giving her too much respect outwardly would simply boost her ego.
"You concluded correctly, almost. You see, it is about the passion which goes into this. Akin to how a monarch is the first servant of the state. Similarly, a master swordsman or baker must do what a monarch does in a smaller sense. They must choose how they break that arm or add the cream to the pastry, what technique or kind of bread they u-"
"Enough, you get political faster than diplomats do."
Her reply was inaccurate, I must correct her-
"Diplomats are constrained by politeness to make small talk before beginning. I do not suff-"
"You don't suffer from those restraints but you make others suffer from lacking that."
"I did start with your blouse...."
My reply was met with silence as we walked to the pastry. The sun was beaming and the blue sky was perfect. The silence gave me a moment to admire the red,blue, green and yellow painted buildings. I appreciated the uniformity of the boxy buildings but the color scheme for different types of buildings was fascinating. Even if that made me seem rustic. New Camelot was drab in comparison with the mostly grey and white buildings as the imperi-republican capital. The shopping streets finally came into sight as we left the residential buildings surrounding the academy.
"You've never been here or something?"
Catarina asked as I failed to enter through a sliding door. Calling it frustrating would understate the severity of my predicament. I am not ashamed to admit that it took three tries to finally understand the mechanics of that damned door.
"I have not visited any city aside from old Lancelot, Tours, Elam and New Camelot in my life. I have visited many forts however."
"Really? You visited as many foreign cities as you have Amorian ones, damn."
Her words stung but it was soothed when she handed me a truffle pastry. I smiled and took a nibble, the flavor was sweet as expected. However, the cream was sinful in how it appeared solid till one bit down. The liquid filled my tongue and the bread did not insist upon itself. Instead, it was soft and acted as a worthy accessory to the chocolaty flavor of th-
"You look like you're ready to make love to that pastry."
"If you had not introduced me to this delicacy, I would have been angered by your comment."
Her brow furrowed then she smirked. After taking a bite of her pastry, she said-
"You love sweets huh?"
I nodded then, she grinned slyly as if she were an old fox negotiating trade agreements. Curses.
"I could show you a few more places if y-"
"No, you shall tell me about how you know about these bastions of sweetness in the first place. If I wish to, legions of sweets can be summoned."
She raised a brow before humming in approval. I see, so she was testing me? Or perhaps she is flattered. It must be the latter. It is also a pleasant surprise that she has not yet asked me why I want to know more about her if that was my secondary intention.
"You know that Henry makes chocolates right?"
I shook my head and she pursed her lips. Catarina looked up, the ceiling was gilded with lotus shaped jade lanterns. It was quite jarring actually, I have quite literally never seen a thing so stereotypically Jina.
"He and I go way back."
Catarina began, lucky...
"Is it the same for Ellia? You all did seem somewhat close."
She nodded while taking another bite of her pastry.
"Well, we all do. As children of the five great families, networking is necessary. Ellia and Henry were betrothed at 3, they were children of house Valian and Aristus after all. The emperor valued those houses so much it was obvious the two had to play nice. Little old house Reynolds meanwhi-"
"I would hardly call in laws of the Jina empress and one of the most powerful families in Amor little."
I interjected in her sob story, Catarina's glare made it clear to me that she was more interested in the narrative than the truth. A sigh escaped my lips as she continued-
"My family meanwhile was shunned, dad decided to get involved with mom. Your amazing great grandfather conquering most of the pacific from midway to guinea isl-"
"Mittletage."
"Yeah yeah, the point is your great gramps wasn't happy about my parents so my brother was isolated growing up. Dad didn't let the same thing happen to me. He inserted himself into the empire's financial ministry and he managed to stave off bankru-"
I finished my pastry before sighing. Catarina coughed then looked at me as she said-
"He wanted to prove his worth to his majesty and then her majesty. Dad hated working, he founded the dragonborn knights in his youth because he thought it would be an easy job. He left it when the unit swelled in size because of the workload which made the emperor dislike him more. He did everything he could and I grew up in a somewhat normal situation."
I groaned and threw my head back, mocking-
"How will you ever cope with being a princess of the oldest dynasty in the world and the daughter of the longest serving finance minister in Amorian history?"
Catarina looked at me and frowned before pulling my collar and our noses touched while her eyes bore into mine as she muttered-
"Aren't we supposed to act interested in each other? When will you stop being an ass?"
I blinked as she pushed me into my seat. I exhaled slowly then said-
"I agree that growing up in a powerful family can cause isolation but you clearly did not experience that and your brother is quite the orator for someone who grew up in that manner. Also, how is any of this relevant to Henry's chocolate making?"
Catarina stood up and I followed her out of the pastry shop after paying. We walked in silence until we reached a small toy shop. It was by no means impoverished however it was genuinely small. I bumped my head while entering through the front door. Livia's laughing at my discomfort only served to madden me.
"Henry, Ellia and I used to come here whenever we came to New Lancelot. I spent a lot of summers in this city."
She told me while we toured the aisles filled with train sets, figurines and the like. Catarina stopped and bent down as she picked up a large boat model, it took only a second for me to look at the broad black hull, that marvelous wooden deck then the flag to realize what it was.
"The Lion of Amor."
I smiled as she picked it up and gave it to me. Oh heavens, I might be...In love. That body, that stubborn rear and imposing front. I...
"So this is what contentment feels like."
I muttered while examining the model closely. The sails of this model of the boat were movable...I am not sure when we took a seat in an open air cafe close to the river Platte. I was too busy marveling at the engineering of the Amorian imperial flagship's model. It even had the proud Amorian flag which had become the republic's coat of arms. That two headed dragon spewing fires represented imperial might so we-
"Do you mind listening to me now?"
I nodded at Catarina, she deserves even more than that for this gift. Her smile was not half as disarming as the boat model but it was a good followup to the opening salvo.
"This is just because the ice sculpture you gave me was pretty even if it had your face on it."
I grimaced but she continued-
"Anyways, the point is...Ellia,Henry and I were always together. It was hard at first though, I was 7 when we met so they both weren't as open to me as they were with each other."
I nodded slowly while playing with the battering ram fixed to the model's hulls. The fact that they used stainless steel in this model to emulate the titanium on the actual on-
"So Ellia was a bit jealous that I knew how to play instruments and stuff."
I cocked my head then asked-
"Why so? Was Henry interested in them?"
She nodded while drinking tea, when did she order it? Oh well, I should inspect the ship's decks fir-
"It was only when Henry started making chocolates did she come around to it all."
"Need I point out the obvious?"
She sipped her tea and muttered something along the lines of shut it. I obeyed and let her continue-
"Ellia didn't like Henry doing things without her, she was attached to him all the time. She has honestly gotten better compared to before, so when he did something she liked. Ellia changed her opinion about me because she assumed I was helping him with making chocolates not music."
I stopped fiddling with the ship's sails and told her-
"Was Ellia genuinely moronic enough to not know the difference between learning about instruments and making chocolates?"
Catarina chuckled then shook her head as she explained-
"No, the thing is. I always told Henry that you need to make music as sweet as a chocolate. Ellia never was in the room when we practiced. She somehow assumed that translated to making chocolates. She thinks I gave Henry the motivation to make chocolates when he just got bored of playing the flute. I was a horrible teacher too, he liked music a lot and just hated the two instruments I played."
"Drums and the flute."
I replied while detaching the battering ram from the hull and looking at it's splendid design.
"How do you know I play the drums?"
Her voice was shrill for some reason, I sighed and stopped examining the model.
"I know the names and hobbies of everyone from the five great Camelotian families. I have memorized their entire family trees too."
She gasped while looking at me. If overreaction was a woman.
"S-seriously? You? R-i-ighttt."
That poor display of verbal skills aside, I nodded to assure her I was not as socially inept as she believed me to be.
"Why?"
Good, she has regained the ability to speak normally. I smirked and explained
"You see Catarina, I wish to forge powerful alliances in the academy itself. It is a testing ground for those of us who will lead Amor after all. The cream of the crop reside here and I intend to make the most of this opportunity."
She nodded slowly before saying-
"Ok so why only the five greats?"
"I cannot be expected to know everyone's names. I know of the five great houses, I merely delved into the details. Befriending scions of the Jina clans would require understanding Jina politics to a level which cannot be done through textbooks alone. I would need to actually go to someone who operates in the Jina empire."
Catarina nodded and did not question me further. The obvious question of why I did not go through this extra step seemed to not cross her mind. As she finished her tea, Catarina smiled at me-
"Cyrus, dear, my faithful companion. Would you like to go shopping with me?"
I gulped but nodded and watched her stuff the massive boat model into her rather small handbag. Saying nothing was for the best though, she could very well damage it otherwise. The rest of the day was a blur, we only bought a dress for her. I ignored the stares she directed towards me whenever a slit dress was presented to her in the 19 stores we visited. It is hardly my problem that she never changed after combat.
"Ever been on a tram?"
She asked as we stepped into one, I shook my head then explained-
"I was not allowed to leave the estate often in any of the cities I visited unless it was hunting or for social events."
"Awh the prince in his gilded cage, how tragic."
She mocked and I grumbled-
"I never mentioned disliking it. "
Catarina's brown hair ruffled against my shoulder while she patted my back, saying-
"The smell must be unbearable huh? You must be used to fresh air or the perfume of your maids and butlers."
I nodded before humming-
"Well, I suppose that is true unless we talk about all the times I was allowed to inspect the cavalry. The scent of dinosaurs is hardly pleasant. Also the sea, the scent of the sea is obnoxious."
Catarina looked at me incredulously as we stepped out, my pocket felt slightly lighter however I had no intention of letting it affect me.
"What about the sea is obnoxious?"
The sky darkened as we walked into a restaurant which had wood painted with red lacquer as its primary decoration. So stereotypically Jina...
"The sea's scent, it insists upon itself. The pretentious nature of that scent is unmatched."
I told her as we took a seat. The 'seat' was actually a small room with tatami mats and a table. Catarina hummed while looking at the menu before she said-
"Cyrus, do you know anything about Jina cuisine? I only eat the basics like dimsum, soup and stuff."
Excuse me....I must recheck.
"You knew about the sweets, did you not? Surely, Jina cuisine is no mystery fo-"
"I've lived in Amor for much of my life, you've been to Elam too. I only know desserts because I like sweet stuff. Now, have you got any suggestions?"
I adjusted my bow tie, I cannot believe that I almost forgot that detail then smiled-
"Well then, let us have a hotpot."
She ordered for us while looking at me whenever the waiter asked what ingredients she wanted.Each time that I believe in her intelligence, my delusions are shattered.
"So, you got any questions for me?"
She asked while giving me the model back. I contemplated it before saying-
"Music, what draws you to it?"
We began eating the hotpot, she spoke through bites of her cuts of meat-
"Eh well, mom gave me lessons personally with this weird instrument that I learnt later was essentially a Jina flute. I kinda kept playing afterwards because mom wanted me to and I wanted her praise. What about you? An Amorian child needs to be smart and strong for the sake of combat right? Why did you get into music?"
I finished eating some vegetables then hissed as a piece of meat burnt my mouth. Finally, I replied-
"No particular reason, my grandmother's dances simply inspired me to do it. I learnt how to play the piano, lyre and xylophone because of lord Arthur. I never quite understood how to dance with the same grace as her. I merely found the best way to prove my devotion through this."
"Why not join a choir? I can't imagine someone refusing a prince then the son of Amor's ruler from a choir."
I frowned then pointed my finger at her while slowly eating a succulent piece of goat meat-
"So your father and family can be isolated from the other great houses but I cannot be shunned from choirs."
"Were you though?"
I shook my head which induced a groan from her but I paid it no attention as I continued-
"They paid far too much respect to other musicians. I wanted to worship lord Arthur, not someone who sat all their life in a comfortable room writing songs while others bled."
Catarina finished her food, wiped her cheek with a napkin then chuckled-
"It was your ancestor who said the phrase; The blood of martyrs is closer to Arthur than the ink of scholars."
I nodded, adding-
"Ah, Magnus Vi Carlyle,he was in Africa before it fell to Lady Slaughter, he saw those braves in Africa die for their home then saw those in the birthplace of our lord write ballads of such tales. He was disgusted by the weakness of such people."
Catarina stood up and yawned-
"Well Africa would be little more than a note in history books without poets and bards though. Even Africa must've had artists who glorified the struggle while others fought."
We left the restaurant then the food street as I replied-
"Perhaps but it is despicable to romanticize a struggle you know not of. It makes the factors which led up to that struggle seem irrelevant or inevitable and focuses on the brave resistance."
"Hey those ballads are usually tragedies not some epics of great heroes saving entire continents like lord Arthur and the progenitors vanquishing the ghouls after humankind's fall a hundred years before his birth."
I hummed and noticed the mist on her breath, it is regrettable that my trench coat was foregone. She could have found use for it. Her skin was not particularly pale. It was healthy in comparison to mine however it resembled mine more. Perhaps I should buy her a scarf.
"That is true but it misses the point. The tragedy of the struggle should not be the focal point of Africa's fall but what it teaches those who come afterwards also, it mythologizes enemies who the brave men and women of Inferno and Nova Arthuria fight everyday. "
"Don't you think you're being a bit hyperbolic? The hordes seem like hungry beasts in most epics I've read."
The street lights showed me the way to our final destination. I groaned as we walked up the slope to the academy's entrance.
"Where the hell did the day go?"
She yawned, I rubbed my chin then said-
"I believe glaring at me throughout the clothes shopping would be where the majority of your day was spent."
I paid little attention to her grumbling as we parted. The final test awaited me as I walked through my door. Alfred was already in my room, it is rather strange to see him sit in my room as if it was bearable for him.
"How did your date go?"
He smiled and I had to hide my own smile under a blush and stutter-
"I-it was h-hardly a d-date. "
He patted my shoulder, leaving me with the words-
"Sure it was."
I was able to grin as soon as the door closed behind me. Perfect. I have proven to my father that it is safe for me to roam freely in the city alongside the Catarina affair and hopefully that will be enough for him. I cannot be recalled after embarrassing myself so thoroughly.