u/Affectionate_Pop5735

When people become angry am I the only one that sits there and wonders what happened to this person when they were a child to make them so angry? I just want to run up to them and give them a huge hug and tell them they are safe, no one is going to hurt them. There is no blame, shame, judgement or ridicule here and there is a better way to handle it now. I just want to tell them I know you’re feeling neglected now because you haven’t revisited this hurtful experience since it happened to you when you were younger, on purpose anyway it was always triggered by something or someone. Just let yourself know that you got this now and you love and appreciate that there was a part of you protecting you. You’re that Important to yourself that you would push others away and get ready to fight someone because you are that important! So love that part that decided hey I’m gonna be the bad guy to protect us so we can survive. Let them know that they are your hero for saving them everytime but you got it from here. I’m not that naive, before anybody says anything. I know there is a small percentage of people that only care about themselves they will try to make you mad on purpose to steel your energy so they can feel powerful and alive but you know what makes them angry and wastes their energy? By not reacting at all and taking yourself out of that situation. That’s been my experience anyway. This is just what I’ve noticed in the past. I’m not a doctor so I don’t know if this is right but I was just thinking about this and I decided to write it into the void for some reason. I started writing someone, so if someone needed to read this just know you aren’t broken, you’re a beautiful soul having a human experience and you’re doing your best to fit in and survive.

I never got a chance to tell you what I wanted from you when we were together. Sometimes I think if I were just straight up told you what I wanted at the beginning we could have avoided all of this heart break. I thought that people wanted the basic same things in a relationship so I thought it would go unsaid. Then I started to ask questions to get to know you a little better but you said I didn’t asked them in the correct way so you became irritated with me. I’ve had many boyfriends and they never complained about the questions I asked. Then there was the intimacy. I just wanted to lie in your arms for a while but you didn’t like that. Ok not everyone likes intimacy so you compromised and held me a little before you wanted to do it. That still didn’t feel right though. You hated when I started things and dominated in the bedroom. That also didn’t feel right but I thought that everyone is different so I let you start every time. Then I noticed you always in the bathroom. You always had to go to the bathroom before and after the act. Was I not enough for you? Things you did made me think there was something wrong with me. When I brought them up you would get angry. I always wanted to work through the problems but you wanted to win the argument. Always calling your sister. That is totally weird and uncalled for. It’s me and you, not us and other people. Of course your sister is going to side with you. She’s your sister. I tried to compromise on things but you always wanted it your way and I’m sorry but I will not submit to you. If you can’t meet me half way then there is nothing we can do. When I told you that you were so quick to say yep I know it’s not going to work and you just let go that easy. I think that hurt the worst. If we were upfront with each other at the beginning we could have saved so much time and heart ache. I would have met you half way on anything but you refused and shut me down and threw me away like a piece of paper. It was so easy for you. I wasted precious time on you and I gave you a part of myself I will never get back. To know now that it was one sided is sooo extremely heart breaking. That’s why I cried the last night. You know the night when I was crying my eyes out and you left me because I was too much. You didn’t care then and you never have. I don’t think you have ever had genuine emotions the entire 2 yrs we were together. You were a good mimic though. This is loverbutt signing off for the last time. Goodbye A!

Was it real when you said you loved me? Was it real when you said you wanted to be together forever? Was it real when you kicked me out and kept pulling me back in. Was it real when you kept hurting me over and over again? Was it real when I kept taking you back time and time again. I feel it wasn’t real when you said you loved me and you wanted to be together forever. I feel that you pulled me in just enough to use me then you would discard me every time. I mistook this for love so I tried to hold onto what we had but you just let go so easily without a care in the world. I could never understand that. I would have moved mountains for you but you throw me out of your life forever this last time. You made it stick. You made me see how much you didn’t care for me. I was a burden and you just didn’t want to deal with me so you had others do it for you. You didn’t want to face me because you’re a coward. I am so hurt and scorned by what you did to me and I will never be the same person I was. The worst thing is I still think about you constantly and miss you, but I know you don’t think of me at all. You just live your life like I was never there.

I’m a little confused. So I was told that because I was born on the 22nd that I was considered a master number. Then right after that I was told that because my month day and year of my birth didn’t add up to a master number it means I am not a master number. Can someone please tell me if me being born on the 22nd is significant or not?

You thought you were so smart. I told you what you needed to hear because I don’t think you knew and I don’t think anyone had enough balls to tell you. I understand why now no one told you. You are a piece of work. I hope I never see you again. I will slap you across the face so hard your head will spin. Don’t worry I actually wouldn’t do that I wouldn’t want you to TRY to get me arrested again. Did you really think I wouldn’t show up at your house with a cop to get my key???? I want everyone to know in your life that I prevailed!!!! You tried to steal my car and then tried to get me arrested. Why would someone that says they love you do that? I just wanted to go home. I’m sorry I said those things but you needed to hear them. I knew you were a vindictive jerk but I didn’t know you would go that for. You said that I assaulted you so I was detained not by one not by two but by three cops that came in three separate cop cars. You know what that doesn’t matter though. What does matter is that they saw through your lies and they took me over to your house and I got my key and took my car and I prevailed. I am so proud of myself and I feel like good conquered evil yesterday. I hope you felt that and it brought you down to a more humbling level. You are not the best thing since sliced bread! You are scum and I hope you get everything you deserve! I really hope you read my last few texts and really understood them because you are going to be so lonely and sad when you get older because you were so consumed with loving yourself that you didn’t see all the people that loved you.