Alan watts said "you never know the importance of a moment... until it becomes a memory."
Yet, I know you saw it in my face, how much i love you, how hard I tried, and how it destroyed me.. that I saw how important those moments were... long before they were memories.
So.. it has been a lot. A long time. Extreme highs and extreme lows. We are always at a tug-o-war. One anxious one avoidant. Trying, pulling, chasing, running. One of us wants to stay one of us wants to go. Yet the attachment is to great on one side and there has been too much damage on one side. So we sit at a cross roads. Where we both fight.
Not saying who is fighting for what.
I know you
You know me.
You how this goes.
We have both lost too much and one of us needs to give.
We are both too stubborn.
Too stubborn to let go. Whether it be of each other, the past, or making things right.
You wont read this so into the void it goes.
As I scream please dont let us go MAD
mutually assured destruction.... I dont deserve that... and neither do you.