u/Adventurous-Rough936

Please don’t jump straight to “divorce.” Reddit says that for everything.

My husband admitted Monday that he watches porn, and honestly, it explained a lot. I was almost always the one initiating sex and wondered how he could go so long without it. Now I think I understand why.

What hurts is that he gets jealous when men look at me and says I “turn heads,” yet still watches other women online. It damaged my self-esteem more than I expected.

Right now, I don’t even want him touching me. He apologized and said he could stop, but trust feels damaged.

We have a stable home, friendship, and a daughter we both adore, so this feels emotionally complicated — not black-and-white.

Friends, please tell me I'm beautiful or something. Probably should get therapy? I was girl who was wanted by many guys and I was in pageants. Yet I chose this dude 😂. Why me

Tl;dr What should I do guys. Please just give me some words of wisdom, a quote

Let’s not jump straight to divorce. That gets suggested so often online that it’s honestly hard to take seriously at this point because Reddit throws that advice around constantly.

Part of me has wondered if, because we have a good home, friendship, stability, and a daughter we both absolutely adore, maybe we could just exist in more of a sexless marriage and focus on being good partners and parents.

What’s confusing is that he gets jealous of men looking at me and tells me I “turn heads,” yet he watches porn, and obviously those women are attractive too. I don’t watch porn myself, but now I almost understand the temptation to emotionally separate and just have an individual sex life apart from him.

Right now, I honestly don’t even want to touch him because of the porn. I was almost always the initiator in our relationship, and I used to wonder how he could go so long without sex. After finding this out on Monday, I think I finally understand why.

He apologized and said he could stop, but realistically, I have no way to verify that, so trust feels damaged right now.

Part of me wonders if maybe we eventually just become one of those strange marriages where the couple gets along well as friends and co-parents, but the romantic side quietly fades away.

I do think I should get therapy because this hit my self-esteem pretty hard. I know a therapist would probably encourage us to work through it, but emotionally I’m just not there right now.

We did have sex about once a week, which already wasn’t very frequent to me. He said he enjoyed it, but now I’m questioning everything and wondering if our romantic connection has been unhealthy or disconnected for a long time.

At the same time, we do have a stable home, and we truly love our daughter.

I’m hoping wise and empathetic adults comment here with genuine insight. Even encouragement would mean a lot right now. I’m trying to stay strong, even though I feel hurt, confused, insecure, and honestly pretty lost.

Is it because the women are hot and hot wife is not? I want to be a porn star now so that I am wanted. What is it, fitness, the craziness? What is it?