u/Adventurous-Fix3049

403 days sober, i just finished my year of therapy, got a few diagnosis’s, was in a hospital for a bit, about 100 meltdowns, been close to relapsing a few times. I know a few sober people but not close enough to share my struggles. I’ve considered joining AA, my partner is not sober but very supportive. We’re about to go on a 5 month backpacking trip, I’m fucking nervous. My brain is trying to find reasons to have a drink, find my new boundaries, i am 23 years old, i have already missed so many social things, i feel like I am wasting my 20s and i know that sounds ridiculous but I’m sure some of you will understand that. I love being sober, i used to be deep in it, drugs and alcohol, almost destroyed my most important relationship. Made some regretful decisions. But I don’t know how to stop missing it? How to stop wishing to go out with friends? I physically and mentally cant go out sober, i shut down.
I have had look at a few reddit posts and i know having a drink would send me into oblivion, but its becoming obsessional, i need a drink, which also makes me anxious. “Cant turn a pickle back into a cucumber”
But how the fuck do i do this? How do i stop missing it? I miss it more everyday, it was easier in the earlier days. I know being sober is in my best interest, BUT FUCK. You know? I don’t know what I’m asking for in this, but i know you will all get it. This shit is fucking hard, how do i embody it? What do i do with myself?

Hi everyone, seeking some well needed advice.
I am 23, graduated highschool since then been working hospitality, as a SSO in a school, nannying, nothing satisfies me enough. Recently i was discussing with my partner where i see my future going, i said paramedic. This is something i have wanted to do for a very long but always nudged it off due to a needle fear, which i now understand can be well taken care of with exposure therapy. It became true to me that Paramedicine could be my future, until i started researching, other people telling me their experiences, friends and families opinions.
I’ve read it destroys marriages, it destroys you. I understand this, i know it would be extremely traumatic. It changes you.
I have been in many situations where i have had to make serious decisions, i enjoy those feelings, i find it easy to jump in, for example i had to stop a train from leaving the station by walking on the tracks because there was a lady that the driver couldn’t see who was going to jump in front of it, i was 16. My brain automatically goes in - how to solve this situation? How to get immediate care?

I am an empath, i do want to start a family in the coming years, i do have mental health issues. But i have never felt such a sureness to anything in my life. Nothing feels like this, i just don’t want it to destroy my life.
I want to know what paramedics think? Honest. I have done so much research, I need to hear straight from the source.
Thank you.