u/AdvanceJealous3529

So basically a guy who ghosted me in high school reached back out to me after 3 years and now I’m confused on what to do.

Back in high school I was really interested in him and kind of shot my shot even though we weren’t really friends. He ended up ghosting me and I later found out it was because one of his friends told him I was “obsessed with him” and a red flag, which honestly wasn’t true at all. The friend who told him that had drama with one of my friends at the time so I honestly think he was just being messy/salty.

We didn’t talk for 3 years. During that time he got a girlfriend (they’ve been broken up for a while now I think). Recently he randomly reached out to apologize and told me he felt bad about how things ended and admitted he was scared/immature back then. We started texting again and it’s honestly been really good. Like we’d text from 9 pm until 3-5 am without even realizing how late it got. The conversations felt super natural and easy and I’ve genuinely grown to really like him.

The problem is he’s transferring to college in Hawaii in 4 months.

I asked him what his intentions were because I was confused why he’d reconnect now knowing he’s leaving soon. But at the same time, I’ve always found him attractive even after everything, and I really enjoy talking to him now. I can already tell I’m getting attached though, which scares me because I know he’s leaving.

Also today we barely texted because we were both busy, but now I’m overthinking because his responses are taking a little longer than before. Not dramatically longer, but enough for me to notice. I know logically people get busy and the nonstop texting pace probably wasn’t sustainable forever, but now I’m worried there’s a vibe change or I’m getting too emotionally invested too fast.
I genuinely can’t tell if I should just enjoy this for what it is and stop overthinking, or if I’m setting myself up to get hurt again.

So I’m in a trio with two girls and at first everything was really good. We all got along super well and hung out a lot. At one point I did start having issues with one of them, but we talked it out and things felt fine after that.

For about a few months everything was normal again, but then I started noticing small things. They would hang out without telling me, or invite me last minute when they were already together. Like they’d already be hanging out and then ask if I wanted to come, which just made me feel like an afterthought.

I already talked to them about feeling left out, especially since we’re supposed to be a trio, and they said they understood. But nothing really changed.

There’s also little things that add up. We all use Letterboxd and they’ve made “w/ (name)” tags for each other, but they’ve never made one for me at all, even for movies we all watched together. It just feels kind of intentional at that point.

Another thing is we have a group chat, but no one really talks in it anymore. I found out they mainly text and FaceTime each other instead, which kind of confirmed how I was already feeling.

They’ve also made each other their home screen wallpapers (just pictures of the two of them), which again isn’t a huge deal on its own, but paired with everything else it just makes me feel even more excluded.

And when we hang out, they do this greeting where they kiss each other on the cheek (idk if that makes sense lol), and they do it constantly in front of me. I tried to ignore it, but after a while it just makes me feel like I’m on the outside of something.

Eventually I kind of accepted that I was going to feel left out, so I started hanging out with other people. I actually had a really good time and posted some pictures. Usually these two hype me up in comments, but this time they just liked it and said nothing. I normally wouldn’t care, but it stood out because I saw them going all out in the comments on another friend/coworker’s post, like being super extra, so the difference felt weird.

I also work with one of them, and when I see her in person everything feels normal. We talk like nothing is wrong, which honestly just confuses me more, because online it feels like there’s distance or weirdness. One of them has basically stopped interacting with me at all and even avoids watching my stories now. Like I can’t tell if we’re actually good or if things are just being kept surface-level in person.

So I don’t really know what’s going on. I already communicated how I felt and nothing changed, but now their behavior feels even more off.

Another thing is they’re both on my spam account on Instagram and I share my location with them on Find My. At this point I don’t even know if that’s weird to keep doing since things feel off, but I also don’t want to make it a bigger deal than it needs to be.

Part of me feels like I’m being pushed out, but another part of me feels like I might just be growing out of this friendship since I’ve met new people I feel more like myself around.

Am I being slowly pushed out?.. And what would you do in this situation?