His passiveness ruined it for me 😞
Dunno if this is the right sub I'm sorry if this isn't btw 😭
This is from Dec-Jan last year. I (17f, was 16 then) was in class 11, and was having the best time of my school life, when dumb me suddenly and very randomly thought omgggg this football guy in my class is sooo cool I think I likeeee himmm. (wait let's do this from his pov)
So like, there's this girl you know since you joined the school, and have always thought of her as smart and pretty (HIS WORDS NOT MINE- 😭 anddd btw I had only got to know him like, some months ago). Fast forward to almost about the end of class 11, her friends suddenly just start making it superrrr duperrrr obvious she likes you. You are quite shocked and well, pleasantly surprised. What's a guy to do? Of course you ask for her ID (despite the fact you hadn't even ever seriously considered her a romantic interest before-- my assumption btw).
Andddd the classic trope starts, all the cute asf texts and butterflies and I'm-in-love shit (its soo cringy looking back 🤧). You're interested but never interested enough. You know you make her quite insecure but you don't know what to do. You love the idea of her, of the cute topper on your arm (look I don't exactly blame him for it, I get it okay? But I just feel really bad for how it made me feel. He's a decent human being ik, just not a good partner)
And suddenly smth horrible happens to her(and he was one of the ones who witnessed this happening btw, and also a partial cause of ittt). You guys can't text even as she doesn't have her phone. You know, anyone who knows her would, that she's really broken. Anddd, you can't even bother to ask her friends if she's okay. To hell with all the "I'll be there for you" shit, there's static silence from your side for months. But being the little romantic she is, she doesn't cease to hope obviously. Maybe when you'll see her, maybe you'll start a conversation. At least tell her if you don't want to continue anymore, right?
But look at you, you start acting like a stranger to her. And the worst part is, you both can feel the lack of a closure, the tension like a physical thing. You both wish for something to happen. yet you lack the courage to even give her a slight smile. Let alone normal days, it's her damned birthday and you can't be bothered to wish her!
(ok back to my pov) The thing is I always knew he was passive, that he was a shy coward. Yet I just hoped it'd change with time.
And for those who'd say that I could have been the one to initiate, the thing is that I always was. But for once I just needed.... validation, I guess. And I was the one with the problems, the restrictions. He wasn't (Ik this cuz he lives in the school hostel soo well its quite obvious). the worst part is I'm still so hungover and I hate it sfmmmm but I just can'ttt stop being so. Every time I think I'm done I'm caught in the spiral again. Btwww I heard rumors he's got a girlfriend now (which Ik I'm not supposed to feel bad about but I do nevertheless, though I hope smmm that he treats her better)
And like Ik this was all quite sad but y'all know my favee parttt? The day we started coming back to school after exams and everythingg, our teacher made everyone clap for me as I'd done a "commendable job" in the exams and scored more than anyone had before in that specific subject in class 11. And meanwhile the very next day when he started showing up, she was rolling her eyes at him saying that he failed the compartment exams too lol 💀 (In his defence, he makes up for his lack of academic capabilities by being a great player 😭)
TL; DR- had a little crush on this football guy in class, we started talking, he was passive afff always hiding stuff and ignoring certain things (cuz mennn ☕), then some shit happened with me and he couldn't even be bothered to ask if I was okay cuz I was like suffering a lot (and he was a partial reason for that shit btww), and I finally saw him after months he just acted as if he'd never known me. And even though it's been some months since that I'm still not quite over all that 🤧