trying to figure out my sexuality
I’m trying to understand my sexuality and I’m feeling genuinely confused about it. I can find both men and women attractive, but the way it shows up in real situations feels inconsistent and I’m trying to figure out what that means about me.
With men, I can feel interested at first maybe they look nice and I can enjoy talking to them or being around them. once things start becoming mutual or they start liking me “for real,” something shifts for me. I often feel like I lose interest or start mentally pulling away. It can feel like physical intimacy becomes something I’m either trying to slow down, get through, or mentally detach from rather than something I’m fully present in. Sometimes I notice I’m more focused on the physical feeling of something inside me, tmi im sorry, than the person themselves, and I don’t really feel a strong drive for things to deepen long-term in a consistent way. Part of that is if i like something inside me, im probably bi but it doesn’t feel that way’s completely. at the same time i dont want something in me every time.
A big part of it is that once there’s mutual attraction, it starts to feel like there’s an expectation around sex or escalation. I don’t always want things to move in that direction, and when it feels like it naturally is, I tend to shut down or want distance. It can also feel like I’m managing the other person’s expectations a lot more than I want to.
With women, even just imagining it or thinking about it feels different. I feel more natural comfort with closeness and affection without it automatically feeling like it has to escalate into something sexual. I can picture emotional and physical intimacy existing in the same space without pressure, and it feels easier to imagine just being close, talking, and existing together. im not opposed to physical intimacy it js doesnt seem like im feeling how a straight person feels with men, but idk bc ive never been with a women in that way either.
Because of that difference, I’m confused about what this actually means. I don’t know if I’m bisexual and just have a stronger preference or comfort with women that I haven’t fully understood yet, or if I might be more attracted to women than I’ve realized. or if this is just anxiety, overthinking, or based on my past experiences shaping how I react in relationships with men.
I’m not really looking for someone to label me, I just want outside perspective on whether anyone has experienced something similar, and where it led them.