u/Additional-Disk-2

Location: Kentucky
I’m looking for family law advice from anyone familiar with custody disputes, especially in Kentucky.

I’m a 32-year-old mother of 4-year-old twins. Their father is 50, and we were never married. We were together for about five years before I became pregnant. During the relationship, there was significant domestic violence, including an incident where he threatened to off me in front of our children when they were infants. I obtained an EPO/DVO for myself and the children at that time.

Their father is an attorney and kept me in continuous litigation after I left. He initially only had supervised visitation, but after prolonged court proceedings and my inability to continue funding legal representation, custody eventually became 50/50. The DVO expired after one year.

For several years, we communicated only through a court-ordered parenting app and exchanged the children through daycare. I have remained cooperative and do not speak negatively about him to the children.

The current issue involves preschool enrollment. My children have attended daycare for years in the district where I live and work. I completed enrollment paperwork for preschool in the same district and informed their father throughout the process. Once they were accepted, he objected and now wants them enrolled in his district instead, which is about 40 minutes away from where I live.

He currently lives there with his wife and younger child. I believe remaining in my district would provide more consistency and stability for the twins because it’s where they already attend daycare, where I work, and where their routine/support system is established.

I also have concerns about the children’s emotional well-being during his parenting time. They frequently resist going there, and I believe he has difficulty communicating with them in an age-appropriate way. However, I understand courts generally require substantial evidence, not just concerns.

I cannot currently afford another attorney, and because I recently remarried, I no longer qualify for legal aid.

My questions are:

1. In Kentucky, how do courts usually determine school district disputes in 50/50 custody situations?
2. Does the fact that the children already attend daycare in my district help my position?
3. What kinds of documentation are most helpful if I need to return to court later?
4. Are there lower-cost legal resources available for custody disputes when domestic violence was previously involved?

I’m trying to make decisions based on stability and what’s best for my children, not retaliation or conflict. I would appreciate any practical advice.

I’m looking for family law advice from anyone familiar with custody disputes, especially in Kentucky.
I’m a 32-year-old mother of 4-year-old twins. Their father is 50, and we were never married. We were together for about five years before I became pregnant. During the relationship, there was significant domestic violence, including an incident where he threatened to off me in front of our children when they were infants. I obtained an EPO/DVO for myself and the children at that time.
Their father is an attorney and kept me in continuous litigation after I left. He initially only had supervised visitation, but after prolonged court proceedings and my inability to continue funding legal representation, custody eventually became 50/50. The DVO expired after one year.
For several years, we communicated only through a court-ordered parenting app and exchanged the children through daycare. I have remained cooperative and do not speak negatively about him to the children.
The current issue involves preschool enrollment. My children have attended daycare for years in the district where I live and work. I completed enrollment paperwork for preschool in the same district and informed their father throughout the process. Once they were accepted, he objected and now wants them enrolled in his district instead, which is about 40 minutes away from where I live.
He currently lives there with his wife and 18month old child. I believe remaining in my district would provide more consistency and stability for the twins because it’s where they already attend daycare, where I work, and where their routine/support system is established.
I also have concerns about the children’s emotional well-being during his parenting time. They frequently resist going there, and I believe he has difficulty communicating with them in an age-appropriate way. However, I understand courts generally require substantial evidence, not just concerns.
I cannot currently afford another attorney, and because I recently married, I no longer qualify for legal aid.
My questions are:
In Kentucky, how do courts usually determine school district disputes in 50/50 custody situations?

Does the fact that the children already attend daycare in my district help my position?

What kinds of documentation are most helpful if I need to return to court later?

Are there lower-cost legal resources available for custody disputes when domestic violence was previously involved?

I’m trying to make decisions based on stability and what’s best for my children, not retaliation or conflict. I would appreciate any practical advice.

I need serious advice because I feel completely stuck.

I’m a 32-year-old woman who lives in Kentucky with 4-year-old twins. Their father is 50, and we were together for about 5 years before I got pregnant in 2021. We were never married.

He was extremely abusive throughout the relationship. His mugshot is literally all over Google, and he has a long history of abusing women. When my twins were 8 months old, he threatened to kill me in front of them. I left immediately, took the babies, and got an EPO/DVO for all three of us.

Here’s the part that made everything even harder: he’s an attorney.

After I left, he kept me in court constantly while I was trying to care for infant twins and recover mentally from the abuse. Eventually he was granted supervised visitation, but because he dragged me through court so often — and because I couldn’t financially or mentally keep fighting him — it eventually turned into 50/50 custody.

The restraining order only lasted a year, and Kentucky heavily favors 50/50 custody. I truly feel like the court system failed my children and me.

For years we communicated only through a court-ordered parenting app and exchanged the kids through daycare. During that time, he remarried and had another child.

I have stayed amicable solely for my children. I never speak badly about him around them, despite everything he put me through.

Fast forward to now: our twins are about to start preschool this August. They currently go to daycare in the same district where I live and work. Has for years. Their dad lives about 40 minutes away in another town with his wife and younger child. He used to practice law in the same town as me until he lost his job due to his criminal record. He lied and said his firm dissolved but it never did

I completed all the enrollment paperwork for a preschool in my district and gave him all the information ahead of time. The day they got accepted, he suddenly decided he thinks the schools in HIS town are “better” and now wants them enrolled there instead.

What makes this even harder is that my children struggle emotionally every time they go there. They dread leaving. He has zero patience with them and speaks to them like they’re grown adults instead of 4-year-olds. Because of the new family and other child, they also don’t get the attention and emotional support they need from him.

I know people will say “take him back to court,” but I genuinely cannot afford another attorney. And now that I’m newly married, I no longer qualify for free legal aid.

I feel trapped. I’m trying so hard to protect my children, be peaceful, and give them stability, but it feels impossible when your abuser still has this much control over your life.

I don’t want to make the wrong decisions for my kids. I just want to be a good mom, and lately I feel like no matter what I do, I can’t win.