u/AdLong9207

Hi, i’m 24 years old and have been dating my boyfriend for 2 years. In 3 weeks me and my boyfriend were supposed to move to georgia together for his new job , and get engaged. He has a ring and has asked my dad and everything. Over these last 2 years i’ve never been happier in my life, my boyfriend is supportive, sweet, caring, patient, and is the kindest man i’ve ever met. I have trust issues from my last relationship but he has never made me feel bad and has always helped me work through them. He’s never had a wondering eye that i’ve noticed and he’s never even shown interest in any celebrity crush. He’s very affectionate, touchy and has no problem with intimacy, he’s better in that department than I am. I was in the perfect relationship and it was about to get even better until wednesday. My boyfriend broke down to me and told me he hadn’t been being completely honest with me and was hiding something, i was so scared and had no idea what to expect. He went on to tell me that he thought that I felt like watching porn in a relationship is cheating. I really don’t… I kinda thought it was pretty normal and wasn’t something I had never done so I was confused as to why the situation felt so dramatic. He explained he felt like he had a porn addiction and throughout our relationship had been going on occasional porn binges and would feel deeply ashamed by it, then wouldn’t do it again for months. according to him the binges happened “about 4 times” over the last 2 years. But it’s not just porn it’s looking at women’s nudes on reddit. That part hurt me the most and is what i’m really struggling to get past. I feel like i can’t talk to anyone about this. I ended the relationship but it was so painful and he was so deeply remorseful and in so much pain. He said everything I was thinking and felt like he had ruined the best thing that would ever happened to him because he couldn’t be a good man. He’s willing to do whatever I want, open up to his family, so a therapist, basically act like he’s on parole. whatever would make me feel okay about giving him a second chance. I love him so much and he’s the only person i’ve ever truly felt like i could be myself around, and has made me truly better. Like I said our relationship was perfect. I just don’t know what to do or how to feel , i did talk to my coworkers who i have been working with since 2019 and they all care very deeply about me and are really trying to support me into leaving him and are keep consistent tabs on me. Is that really the right thing to do ? I feel like the last 2 years of my life has been a lie and i’ve never felt so lost. I never want to look him in the eye again but he’s also the only person I want to comfort me. Does he even sound like an addict ? I don’t even know what a porn addict is , and if he thought it was so bad why did he just like i don’t know… not do it? My male coworker who is also in a relationship seems the most concerned about me which is making it kind of worse. Is this not a normal thing. Please help me, I would appreciate any advice. I want my life back.

Hi, I’ve never posted on here before but I need some advice. I’ve been with my boyfriend for 2 years and we were actually about to get engaged this summer and move to georgia for his new job together. This whole thing is now currently off and i’ve just broken up with him because I found out he’s been watching porn over the last 2 years. He was acting strangely with his phone and i knew something was up so i pressed him and he ended up breaking down and telling me that, he i knew i thought watching porn was cheating (i do not so idk why he thought all that) but he had been occasionally doing it. i wasn’t mad just confused about the whole thing , he’s always said he didn’t do stuff like that and talked negatively about men that did. The next day the idea that he was under the impression that i thought watching porn was cheating and was doing it anyway and was hiding it for the last 2 years that wasn’t sitting well with me.. according to him, he thought if i knew this information that i would end the relationship and always felt so guilty about it. So today i brought that up and wanted to discuss it and kind of gain some perspective and reassurance in that department. He ended up freaking out again and went from saying he watched it from time to time like a normal person to being a full blown addict in need of recovery, and did things like go on binges. What hurt me the most was the photos .. watching porn feels semi normal but actively looking at other women’s nudes online when he has my own felt so deeply heart breaking to me. I’m a very attractive girl and there’s really nothing anyone could do to make me feel bad about my body but i just don’t understand how it’s not enough ? I got to the bottom of what these “binges” entailed and is coming home from work and “jerking off” (ew i’m sorry) to porn and looking at some pictures 2-3 nights in a row every few months and then not touching it again for months even considered an addiction ?? I’m so confused and conflicted right now it feels like my whole life has been torn apart. I’ve already told my job that i’m moving with him, we’re supposed to be leaving in 3 weeks. We have a dog. I can’t even view him as a man right now , he’s so pathetic. Is this normal ? Is this an addiction ? He also keeps saying that it is cheating and the fact that he’s done this means he’s cheated on me which certainly isn’t helping. Is it ?