What would you have done in my shoes?
Yesterday around 5 PM, my boyfriend and I stopped by a vape shop and bought a vape. The cashier was a woman wearing low-rise skinny jeans, a V-neck shirt, and makeup. After we left, I jokingly told my boyfriend that she seemed interested in him because she kept flipping her hair.
Today, while using his phone, I discovered that he had been using G r o k and had customized it to act like a seductive female character. In one of the chats, he described the exact situation from yesterday, writing something along the lines of, “You saw me with my girlfriend the whole time,” and then continued with explicit sexual roleplay involving the woman from the vape shop.
When I confronted him, he initially lied and claimed he had used it to masturbate that morning, but the timeline didn’t add up because we didn’t go to the vape shop until later in the day. Eventually, he admitted that it was a fantasy and said he thought it was normal.
I understand that people can have fantasies, and I’m not bothered by him being attracted to fictional characters. What deeply hurt me was that he sexualized a real woman we had just encountered in person while I was standing right there beside him. To me, that feels like a serious betrayal and behavior that crosses a boundary in our relationship. It feels disrespectful, disturbing, and emotionally painful.