Repost as I didn't include details: BSOP unmedicated/not in therapy.
Long story, fresh account as she knows my old one.
My female partner of 22 years left a few weeks ago after a minor argument that went nuclear.
Long story short, she has been diagnosed with depression for about 12 years. Over that time its been a roller coaster of up and downs. 18 months ago she was diagnosed ADHD and started meds. Dex did not go well (emotional and anger) but a combo if Vyvanse and Dex seemed to have smoothed things out.
Weirdly she got clearer, but the things that set of fights became smaller and smaller issues. One day we would be talking kids the next she'd get upset and just run away from the house.
We cut back on her stress and started transitioning to an easier job for her, but in doing so she upped her SSRI's to cope with the new stress and things got worse in what would set her off. Her insomnia got really bad but Strangely our relationship kept improving.
I got her onto Saffron Tea for her insomnia and a week later we took some time to attended a festival. It was a chill festival but we took it super high energy and it was amazing. Daily she was euphoric and genuinely happy. Each day got better and better and we attracted so many new friends because of our great energy.
One day after returning we had the best morning for years, then the smallest argument. I tried to do the right thing and put myself to bed not wanting to fight. A few hours later I awoke to her scream crying in the shower. She went from hysterical to manically screaming that she just wanted to "dance and have fun".
She cried herself out and I got her to bed. The next morning I had to go to work, but was informed by my security camera system of a loud noise. When I logged in she was hysterically scream crying again through the house. By the time I'd found someone to cover me she had just left with nothing, fleeing to a friends place in the country.
She wanted space, but said she was fine. A week later out of the blue she called to end it. I was heartbroken but tried to respect her decision, i thought therapy would be great for us she refused. So i just accepted it.
Then, it got strange. I was (and am) barely able to human, 22 years is not a short time. But she just started partying day and night with the new festival friends she'd just met. She'd ignore and avoid her old ones. In days she was going on tinder dates, then meeting and dating random parasocial followers from her socials. Now apparently a week later attending swingers partys with people she previously described as predators. She's moving from new friends couch to new friends couch to the back of her car. She's literally forget about her home, her career, and her pets.
The new people in her life are taking her as liberated and fun, breaking free of her old chains of her life, her old ones are either confused or just don't even realise we have separated and they have been surprised when I've had to explain it. Which I really cant. Her parents whom she was estranged with, are excited to reconnect, but have only seen her 3 or four times a year for the past 20 years so just see her as fun and energised. Nobody else seems to see a problem
Nothing really made much sense to me until I started looking at her combo of drugs but now being the EX, i'm completely out of contact with her (its only been 14 days). I'm in this weird position where we are broken up, but I'm the only person who has witnessed the whole story. I think there is something there, but cant prove it and can only supply one way information with her doctor. Which honestly I have no idea if they act on or just think I'm mad.
Im not looking for a diagnosis, but does this type of thing end? Do you wait? Am I broken Up? Or is this a medical episode and she'll just wake up one day with the crushing guilt of all her actions? How do I soften the blow if she does?
Ive been trying to treat this whole thing with kindness, but man its been tough.