u/Ace_IsBetter_

Im 17F and about 2 years ago my mom started dating this guy Kevin, I didn't ever really like Kevin within the first couple of times I met him he would make I guess dumb comments like my legs were as hairy as big foot (I was 15 at the time) and the second i turned 16 he said he moved out of the house and had a stable job at my age. I always felt like he would one up me no clue why, or if me and my mom would argue he wouldn't let me talk to my mom he would just kind of take her place in the argument. Also I don't live with my mom I haven't lived with her since I was 14 but every time she wants to spend quality time with me or go somewhere with me He's ALWAYS there I haven't seen my mom alone in forever.

There was one time when I was staying the night at my mom's house and I got a new pair of pants and I asked if she could cut the tag out because I struggled with right handed scissors and Kevin told my mom to let him do it and he cut a big hole in my pants while cutting the tag off and he just smiled about it and said he tried, my mom wouldn't make eye contact with me. (If you couldn't tell my mom is the type to put her boyfriends above her children)

Recently I told my mom I didn't want to live with my boyfriend anymore because he was horrible with money and used my money for stuff without asking me (he's 19M if that matters) and now I have zero savings and want to get out of that relationship so I begged to come live with her because she has a extra bedroom and always said I could come live with her but she told me no and that she can't help me. And I've heard Kevin say mean stuff about me and planted an image of me in her head because my little sister lives with them (13F also not his kid) tells me Everytime they talk about me. She says he calls me a bitch and says I live a very disappointing life. I'm genuinely tweaking about it help.

For starters, my boyfriend (19M) who I'm gonna call Z and I (17F) have been dating for over 2 years now and have lived together since October 2025. We recently moved into a bigger place and we now have his friend as a roommate (also 19M) I'm gonna call him T. We agreed to spend money on our own food and essentials, and to clean after ourselves. We also agreed that if anyone had a problem they would go to Z because idk head of household or some bs. So the first big problem was I buy most the groceries because I also get groceries for my boyfriend (Z) but T seems to just help himself to whatever I have,

For instance T bought a bunch of 50 cent Kool aid packets that require I think 2-3 cups of sugar and he uses my sugar. I've had to buy a new bag of sugar every week. But not only is he using all my sugar he's spilling it everywhere and not cleaning it up + he spills Kool aid on a regular basis and it stains the counter tops if it sits too long I went to Z about it and his excuse was "He doesn't know how to survive." And dismisses it. I still don't understand how cleaning up ur mess is "surviving" but okay.

We all also have a group chat that (no one uses but me) because we made certain rules about things like No surprise guests yk don't just bring anyone to the house,give us a heads up if you do bring someone and no guests after 10pm and others that I might get into later. But the only person he tells is Z which he isn't home most the time, I am. Z works everyday for about 12-15 hours (warehouse job) I only work part time because that's really the only thing I can do legally. (I'm not in school) I keep asking T to say it in the group chat so everyone knows but I'm guessing it's not clicking.

I'm really bad at explaining my situation I'm basically asking how to get these guys to listen to basic stuff the main questions are

1. How do I get T to stop eating my food?

2. How to get Z to actually address the concerns he says he would address?

3. How do I get both of them to respect me as a person?

(I can't move out as much as I would love to, I loaned out all my savings to Z about 6 months ago and he still hasn't paid me back + I'm not close with my family at all I have no one to move in with.)