u/Accurate_Phase1784

My boyfriend and I have been together for 4 years. We started dating when we were 17, and during all this time he has never really planned a proper date.

Our first date had no plan. He asked me to meet him at the station, then we just walked around, and later he suggested to watch a movie, so we went to the cinema. That was basically it.

Since then, we hang out a lot and spend time together, and I know he truly loves me. He is loyal, caring, and treats me well in many ways. But he never plans anything romantic or thoughtful like an actual date.

For my birthdays in the past, he gave me small gifts like keychains and little things. He also writes me handwritten letters every birthday, which I truly appreciate and keep. I know he doesn’t have much money. His parents don’t really give him money, and because we go to a strict Asian school in Italy, he doesn’t have much time for a job either. I’m not asking for expensive gifts or money.

What I wanted was effort in planning something.

For his birthdays, I always tried to make them special. I baked him a cake, took him to the Duomo church to pray, went with him to the Ferrari store because he loves cars, then to the Leonardo museum, walked around luxury shopping streets, and went to Chinatown. Nothing huge or expensive, just thoughtful plans.

Now for my birthday, I told him I would really like a proper planned date for once. I also pointed out that in 4 years he has never really organized one. I even said we live in Italy where there are so many free or cheap things to do together, like walking around Lake Como, visiting nice places, picnics, etc.

After I said this, he got emotional and said he’s a jerk. He was close to crying. The thing is, I know he genuinely doesn’t know how to plan dates. I’m his first girlfriend, he has no real friends besides me, and his family never celebrates birthdays or gives gifts, so he didn’t grow up around that kind of thing.

Now I feel bad for bringing it up.

AITA for asking for effort and a planned date, even though I know his background and appreciate the things he does do for me?

My boyfriend and I have been together for 4 years. We started dating when we were 17, and during all this time he has never really planned a proper date.

Our first date had no plan. He asked me to meet him at the station, then we just walked around, and later he suggested to watch a movie, so we went to the cinema. That was basically it.

Since then, we hang out a lot and spend time together, and I know he truly loves me. He is loyal, caring, and treats me well in many ways. But he never plans anything romantic or thoughtful like an actual date.

For my birthdays in the past, he gave me small gifts like keychains and little things. He also writes me handwritten letters every birthday, which I truly appreciate and keep. I know he doesn’t have much money. His parents don’t really give him money, and because we go to a strict Asian school in Italy, he doesn’t have much time for a job either. I’m not asking for expensive gifts or money.

What I wanted was effort in planning something.

For his birthdays, I always tried to make them special. I baked him a cake, took him to the Duomo church to pray, went with him to the Ferrari store because he loves cars, then to the Leonardo museum, walked around luxury shopping streets, and went to Chinatown. Nothing huge or expensive, just thoughtful plans.

Now for my birthday, I told him I would really like a proper planned date for once. I also pointed out that in 4 years he has never really organized one. I even said we live in Italy where there are so many free or cheap things to do together, like walking around Lake Como, visiting nice places, picnics, etc.

After I said this, he got emotional and said he’s a jerk. He was close to crying. The thing is, I know he genuinely doesn’t know how to plan dates. I’m his first girlfriend, he has no real friends besides me, and his family never celebrates birthdays or gives gifts, so he didn’t grow up around that kind of thing.

Now I feel bad for bringing it up.

AITA for asking for effort and a planned date, even though I know his background and appreciate the things he does do for me?

I’m not a Bocconi student but I’d like to visit the campus and see the atmosphere. Are there any public areas or ways non-students can go inside?