u/Account00098

I (m22) am going through my first break up with my ex (f23) after a 7 year long relationship. Today while making this post officially marks a week since the break up and just yesterday she blocked me around 5pm? I was absolutely distressed and heartbroken and well now I still feel heartbroken and I miss her. The first few days I was talking to her a lot basically trying to find answers and clarity on everything. She dumped me suddenly and well she also left me for my best friend of 20 years and they wanted me to stay friends with them so I rightfully had a lot of questions and was feeling really hurt and I was trying to figure out how I can be friends with them still (very stupid I know). When she dumped me it was very sudden the literal day before she was saying how much she loved me and how great of a boyfriend I am. I guess me constantly asking her questions and being around frustrated her and yesterday while texting her she got even more frustrated and I guess that was the last straw and she blocked me. When that happened it broke my heart more but it also oddly took a weight off my shoulders. I’m not really sure why but it did, I can’t say I’m exactly happy but a lot of anxiety and fear just flew out the window. Am I crazy for feeling relief after that? After trying so hard to understand and trying so hard to be a friend?

Edit: I guess an extra note is that she texted me a lot after the break up too. She said she cared about me and she texted me good morning and good night which is why I kept messaging her. I dunno it’s weird i just know I got a lot of mixed messages from her after we broke up.

My girlfriend of seven years ended things with me five days ago. I’d go into detail about it but it’s just complicated, but it was a healthy break up and she wants to be friends still with me and she wants me around in her life but I don’t know how to do that. I know the healthiest thing to do right now is to go no contact so I can grow and process my feelings and if I am gonna be friends with her I’d have to unlearn how to love her, but how do I do that? The idea of blocking her is driving me crazy and I just would really really hate to lose that connection with her because she wants me around still and I just don’t know how I can do that. I’m just not ready to let go and it’s scary. How can I go through with no contact and stick with it?

Edit: okay I feel like I do need to add context on the break up and the situation as a whole. She is my high school sweetheart my first girlfriend and there’s two reasons why she broke up with me. One reason is that I wasn’t there enough throughout our relationship when things got hard and yeah I admit fault in that I wasn’t as attentive enough for her especially recently and I really should’ve done more. The other and more painful reason is that she and my best friend since kindergarten developed feeling for each other. Before anyone starts throwing tomatoes at her I will give her credit she didn’t do a single thing behind my back. When she realized how she felt and realized my best friend felt the same she told me immediately. There was this weird two day period after she told me that and before she broke up with me. But she was very supportive, nice and respectful, she told me everything in person and she was very caring for me giving me space but letting me know she was there still. It’s weird and complicated like I said since she cares still, it’s hard and very confusing. I just don’t know how I can make myself to want to let go.

I know I put a venting/ranting tag under this but I do also need advice because things are just terrible. Monday April 27 my girlfriend of seven years broke up with me. My first girlfriend, my high school sweet heart. She broke up with me for two reasons, the first being that I wasn’t there enough for her. I wasn’t as comforting as I could be nor was I taking much lead in the relationship. If that was it then I think I’d be able to heal better but it’s the second and more difficult reason that hurts.

She fell in love with my best friend, my best friend I knew and trusted and been with since kindergarten and he fell in love with her. Apparently they’ve both felt that way towards each other for months, and I guess when they both found out how the other felt that just made things easy for her. One thing I appreciate from her is that she told me immediately about how she felt and about how my best friend felt. I really really appreciate that from her. Anyways what’s making things hard for me is that there wasn’t really a discussion about fixing our relationship.

The timeline of things happening was kinda fast and I’m having such a hard time processing it. They both fell for each other sometime ago, Thursday April 23 they found out how they felt about each other. Friday April 24 my girlfriend broke the news about it. She asks me for space and I gave it to her and the Monday April 27 she broke it off with me. I don’t know if she didn’t want to fix things with us, I don’t know if she checked out of our relationship a while ago, but I know she chose him over me.

She wants to be friends with me still and my best friend wants me around still too but god. How can I trust either of them again. They were my go to my number ones and I trusted the both of them unconditionally. They were my only friends and after the break up they were there for each other. I have both of their locations I see them at my best friend’s house. Yet I’m alone after all that. It’s the worst, if my best friend came to me after the break up and was there in my corner I would’ve forgave him and put in the effort to try and maintain some kind of relationship but the fact that they’re both there for each other while leaving me here under the assumption that I need space from both of them sucks. My girlfriend is more caring and reaching out more than my best friend, she says that he’s scared that I hate him big god dammit when did a break up become about him.

Only people I got in my corner right now is my mom and an old friend I haven’t spoken to in a while. I don’t know how to move on. I’ve been out of the house, picked up new hobbies. I’m looking for a new job that’s further away from all the places we hung out at. I’ve started to journal my feelings in my sketchbook and I’ve started watching new shows and went out to the movies. But there’s just this gapping hole where the two most important people in my life were. I still love my girlfriend, I can’t even call her my ex that’s how hard it is for me to move on.

From the outside looking in it looks like they both moved on. That my girlfriend just replaced me and it sucks because I told her how scared I was of being replaceable and she told me, she told me she’ll always be there and stick by my side and I’ll always be her boyfriend. She said I was the best boyfriend. I dunno. If anyone makes it to the end of this post I just need advice on what to do next. I’m planning on cutting her off but I know she doesn’t want that and god I don’t want that. I just don’t know how to make it easier for myself. I dunno if I can forgive my best friend right now. I just don’t want to be alone