AIW for backing out as a bridesmaid after finding out I’d have to pay for everything?
My cousin asked me to be a bridesmaid for her wedding, and since it was my first time ever being one, I immediately said yes. I was so excited and felt honored to be included.
A little while later, she explained that I would be responsible for all my own bridesmaid expenses. This included a customized dress ordered from a specific boutique, matching shoes she had already chosen, and professional hair and makeup done by her chosen stylist only to acvoid outshining the bride
After she broke down the details, I started realizing how expensive it all was for what is basically a one day event. I’ve been saving money and trying to be careful with my finances, and the total just didn’t feel realistic for me.
I talked to her privately and told her I might not be able to afford it anymore and would prefer to just attend as a guest instead. I also explained that I thought some of these costs would be optional or shared since I didn’t realize everything was expected to be out of pocket.
She told me I should have mentioned my budget from the beginning so they could have replaced me right away with someone who could afford it. I apologized and said I genuinely didn’t know how it usually works, and even offered a compromise where I would buy my own dress and do my own hair and makeup so I could still be part of the wedding in some way and still afford to give a proper gift.
She rejected that idea and said it would mess up the wedding plan. Now she’s upset with me and saying I’m selfish and ruining her wedding arrangements.
I feel bad because I don’t want to cause stress, but I also didn’t expect the financial burden to be this high.
AIW?