u/According_Alarm_3160

I am 19 and finishing my freshman year in college. Before leaving to move into dorms, I broke up with my then girlfriend because I was worried long distance was not going to work between us. It was an incredibly hard decision to make as this girl was everything to me: sweet, smart, funny, pretty, all the cliche stuff. I however was worried that her parents were going to be far too strict with her for a 2 and a half hour drive seperation to be bareable. The break up left her blindsighted and distraught and I felt horrible about it.

While I was away, I would constantly hear from friends about how much she missed me, she would constantly check my social pages and even drove by my house a good amount of times, cementing to me that she really really did not want to let me go.

In these 9 months, I've lived my own life at college thinking that we were never going to get back together, I "hooked up" with a girl once but it really did not feel right in the moment, so, embarrassing as it sounds, I shut it down before either of us finished. Besides this one time I very unenjoyably slept with someone else, I really have not viewed any other girl in that light besides a kiss here and there, and one other "sexual experience" though not actual penetration. I tend to just keep to myself.

About a 2 or so weeks ago I get a text from my ex girlfriend saying she's doing well but she still thinks about me a lot. By this point, with the 9 months passing, I had realized I missed her much more than I expected I would, and I was extremely happy to see even after I broke up with her and all this time had passed, she still felt the same. So we start catching up, I drive back home for a weekend to see her, and something she tells me is that in the 9 months we had been apart she had slept with 2 people, one being a hook up with a guy she never spoke to again, and another with a guy she was seeing for a short while, saying these two times were her trying to fill a void of me being gone.

The only thing that really irks me is the random hook up. The guy she started to see was obviously very sweet to her and respected her, so hearing that they slept together once honestly did not hurt me too much, especially considering a week after the one time it happened she broke up with him then came and drove by my house again. This random hookup, though, irks me not out of comparison of me to the other guy, I believe I would win any comparison if I really wanted to, but the principle that it happened. Am I being hypocritical? Absolutely. And it's what confuses me about this whole situation.

I've since talked with her on the phone about it, she said that with the freedom of being single for the first time in her adult life, along with a void she wanted to fill, she wanted to experiment, but after sleeping with this guy once she told me she felt extremely gross about herself and stupid that she would have let it happen, and I mean I believe that she did take it as some type of lesson for herself because evidently the next time she slept with someone was with a guy who took her much more seriously, even if it was only for one time with him too.

I miss her a lot, and it's quite obvious she missed me a lot too. While we were in 9 months of no contact her friends would text me saying she's not satisfied with anyone else, she would ask my friends how I've been doing, and as Gen Z as it sounds would constantly repost videos very clearly hinting at missing me. And now that we've been in contact again, I see that she is extremely eager to have the possibility of me coming back into her life. She's told her parents that we're on speaking terms again and has planned stuff for us to do when I'm back for the summer.

My question is this: I deeply regret breaking up with her 9 months ago if I'm being honest, and just want to know if it would be ridiculous for me to come back into her life? The hook up thing irked me for a moment, but I'd be a massive hypocrite if I continued to stay upset about it, especially considering I let her know about my sexual experiences and she was completely okay with me having had them. I have no reason not to believe anything she's told me about her motives or feelings, as almost everything I've seen externally backs those statements up. I broke up with her and didn't talk to her for 9 months and she lived her life a little, but she obviously never quit missing or thinking about me. Is reconciling a good idea, or should I leave it in the past?

I am 19 and finishing my freshman year in college. Before leaving to move into dorms, I broke up with my then girlfriend because I was worried long distance was not going to work between us. It was an incredibly hard decision to make as this girl was everything to me: sweet, smart, funny, pretty, all the cliche stuff. I however was worried that her parents were going to be far too strict with her for a 2 and a half hour drive seperation to be bareable. The break up left her blindsighted and distraught and I felt horrible about it.

While I was away, I would constantly hear from friends about how much she missed me, she would constantly check my social pages and even drove by my house a good amount of times, cementing to me that she really really did not want to let me go.

In these 9 months, I've lived my own life at college thinking that we were never going to get back together, I "hooked up" with a girl once but it really did not feel right in the moment, so, embarrassing as it sounds, I shut it down before either of us finished. Besides this one time I very unenjoyably slept with someone else, I really have not viewed any other girl in that light besides a kiss here and there, and one other "sexual experience" though not actual penetration. I tend to just keep to myself.

About a 2 or so weeks ago I get a text from my ex girlfriend saying she's doing well but she still thinks about me a lot. By this point, with the 9 months passing, I had realized I missed her much more than I expected I would, and I was extremely happy to see even after I broke up with her and all this time had passed, she still felt the same. So we start catching up, I drive back home for a weekend to see her, and something she tells me is that in the 9 months we had been apart she had slept with 2 people, one being a hook up with a guy she never spoke to again, and another with a guy she was seeing for a short while, saying these two times were her trying to fill a void of me being gone.

The only thing that really irks me is the random hook up. The guy she started to see was obviously very sweet to her and respected her, so hearing that they slept together once honestly did not hurt me too much, especially considering a week after the one time it happened she broke up with him then came and drove by my house again. This random hookup, though, irks me not out of comparison of me to the other guy, I believe I would win any comparison if I really wanted to, but the principle that it happened. Am I being hypocritical? Absolutely. And it's what confuses me about this whole situation.

I've since talked with her on the phone about it, she said that with the freedom of being single for the first time in her adult life, along with a void she wanted to fill, she wanted to experiment, but after sleeping with this guy once she told me she felt extremely gross about herself and stupid that she would have let it happen, and I mean I believe that she did take it as some type of lesson for herself because evidently the next time she slept with someone was with a guy who took her much more seriously, even if it was only for one time with him too.

I miss her a lot, and it's quite obvious she missed me a lot too. While we were in 9 months of no contact her friends would text me saying she's not satisfied with anyone else, she would ask my friends how I've been doing, and as Gen Z as it sounds would constantly repost videos very clearly hinting at missing me. And now that we've been in contact again, I see that she is extremely eager to have the possibility of me coming back into her life. She's told her parents that we're on speaking terms again and has planned stuff for us to do when I'm back for the summer.

My question is this: I deeply regret breaking up with her 9 months ago if I'm being honest, and just want to know if I should come back into her life? The hook up thing irked me for a moment, but I'd be a massive hypocrite if I continued to stay upset about it, especially considering I let her know about my sexual experiences and she was completely okay with me having had them. I have no reason not to believe anything she's told me about her motives or feelings, as almost everything I've seen externally backs those statements up. I broke up with her and didn't talk to her for 9 months and she lived her life a little, but she obviously never quit missing or thinking about me. Is reconciling a good idea? Or should it be left in the past?

This isn't as much of a vent/rant as it is a drawn out question but I wasn't sure what other tag to put.

I am 19 and finishing my freshman year in college. Before leaving to move into dorms, I broke up with my then girlfriend because I was worried long distance was not going to work between us. It was an incredibly hard decision to make as this girl was everything to me: sweet, smart, funny, pretty, all the cliche stuff. I however was worried that her parents were going to be far too strict with her for a 2 and a half hour drive seperation to be bareable. The break up left her blindsighted and distraught and I felt horrible about it.

While I was away, I would constantly hear from friends about how much she missed me, she would constantly check my social pages and even drove by my house a good amount of times, cementing to me that she really really did not want to let me go.

In these 9 months, I've lived my own life at college thinking that we were never going to get back together, I "hooked up" with a girl once but it really did not feel right in the moment, so, embarrassing as it sounds, I shut it down before either of us finished. Besides this one time I very unenjoyably slept with someone else, I really have not viewed any other girl in that light besides a kiss here and there, and one other "sexual experience" though not actual penetration. I tend to just keep to myself.

About a 2 or so weeks ago I get a text from my ex girlfriend saying she's doing well but she still thinks about me a lot. By this point, with the 9 months passing, I had realized I missed her much more than I expected I would, and I was extremely happy to see even after I broke up with her and all this time had passed, she still felt the same. So we start catching up, I drive back home for a weekend to see her, and something she tells me is that in the 9 months we had been apart she had slept with 2 people, one being a hook up with a guy she never spoke to again, and another with a guy she was seeing for a short while, saying these two times were her trying to fill a void of me being gone.

The only thing that really irks me is the random hook up. The guy she started to see was obviously very sweet to her and respected her, so hearing that they slept together once honestly did not hurt me too much, especially considering a week after the one time it happened she broke up with him then came and drove by my house again. This random hookup, though, irks me not out of comparison of me to the other guy, I believe I would win any comparison if I really wanted to, but the principle that it happened. Am I being hypocritical? Absolutely. And it's what confuses me about this whole situation.

I've since talked with her on the phone about it, she said that with the freedom of being single for the first time in her adult life, along with a void she wanted to fill, she wanted to experiment, but after sleeping with this guy once she told me she felt extremely gross about herself and stupid that she would have let it happen, and I mean I believe that she did take it as some type of lesson for herself because evidently the next time she slept with someone was with a guy who took her much more seriously, even if it was only for one time with him too.

I miss her a lot, and it's quite obvious she missed me a lot too. While we were in 9 months of no contact her friends would text me saying she's not satisfied with anyone else, she would ask my friends how I've been doing, and as Gen Z as it sounds would constantly repost videos very clearly hinting at missing me. And now that we've been in contact again, I see that she is extremely eager to have the possibility of me coming back into her life. She's told her parents that we're on speaking terms again and has planned stuff for us to do when I'm back for the summer.

My question is this: I deeply regret breaking up with her 9 months ago if I'm being honest, and just want to know if it would be ridiculous for me to come back into her life? The hook up thing irked me for a moment, but I'd be a massive hypocrite if I continued to stay upset about it, especially considering I let her know about my sexual experiences and she was completely okay with me having had them. I have no reason not to believe anything she's told me about her motives or feelings, as almost everything I've seen externally backs those statements up. I broke up with her and didn't talk to her for 9 months and she lived her life a little, but she obviously never quit missing or thinking about me. Is reconciling a good idea, or should I leave it in the past?