u/AccomplishedLie8930 — reddlx

I (28F) married my husband (29M) last year November, been in a relationship for 2.5 years. He has always been a nice and caring guy. He communicated well (upto a certain time).

He would tell me if he noticed something had changed in my behaviour and ask about it. It did make things awkward in the future. For eg why i didn’t cook/get something ready for him to eat when he came back from office and when i’d do it, it’d feel like i am doing this only coz he told me to do it. So i think this was an incident of over-communication. There have been several such incidents. So I finally told him that this thing makes things awkward for the future. So maybe wait till there’s a pattern and then talk about it.

While we were talking things out, i asked him that why he doesn’t initiate to resolve things between us now. (It has been happening for more than 5 months now). First, he said that he didn’t know which things to talk about and which ones not coz that gets so annoying. Then i asked him, that i had a full mental breakdown 2 nights back (coz of ongoing stress from things and some differences from our relationship) and that he still hadn’t talked about it. (For context i told him the day after that we need to talk about some stuff but couldn’t coz it got late). He kept making excuses. Then he finally said, “Jaisi hamare beech mein cheezein rahi hain, Mujhe nhi lagta ki abb itna farak pdta h mujhe”. My mind totally went blank. And i just got up and left the room. What am i supposed to be doing now? How do people stay in marriages for this long? What wrong am i doing? How do i love him or treat him the same after this??

After all this, he asks me that why i am upset from him. He tells me dont be like that. Istg i felt like he’s playing with me. He doesn’t get to play dumb after making me feel like i don’t matter anymore.

I (28F) married my husband (29M) last year November. He has always been a nice and caring guy. He communicated well (upto a certain time).

Like i told him that we should communicate and not let things build up. To which he was fine till some months ago. But now if he would communicate, it’d seem like he’d notice the smallest change and tell me and then no matter how it’s done, it’s always awkward. Eg: he would tell me that why i am not as eagerly helping him choose out his next day office clothes. And if i do, he says things like “dont stress over it, i will do it”. Like it was supposed to be smooth. But now it’s just so awkward. So that’s like over communicating your needs, and then it became so awkward for me.

So I finally told him that this thing makes things awkward for the future. So maybe wait till there’s a pattern and then talk about it.

While we were talking things out, i asked him that why he doesn’t initiate to resolve things between us now. (It has been happening for more than 5 months now). First, he said that he didn’t know which things to talk about and which ones not coz that gets so annoying. Then i asked him, that i had a full mental breakdown 2 nights back (coz of ongoing stress from things and some differences from our relationship) and that he still hadn’t talked about it. (For context i told him the day after that we need to talk about some stuff but couldn’t coz it got late). He kept making excuses. Then he finally said, “I think I don’t get affected by your emotions that much anymore”. My mind totally went blank. And i just got up and left the room. What am i supposed to be doing now? How do people stay in marriages for this long? What wrong am i doing? How do i love him or treat him the same after this??