Am I overreacting for cutting off a friend who wouldn’t put in the same effort?
I (21) met A (27) during an apprenticeship about a year ago. We became quite close and stayed in touch daily even after moving to different placements.
Over time, I felt like I was putting in way more effort than him.
For example:
- I lent him around £300 (and more over time) when he was struggling financially. He did pay me back, but usually after 1–2 months.
- I helped him complete parts of his placement portfolio, even after a 12-hour shift, staying up an extra 2 hours to help.
- I picked him up from the airport (1.5 hours away) right after finishing a night shift.
- I also bought him a PS5, which he agreed to pay for in instalments.
In return, all I really asked was to meet up occasionally. He lives about 30 minutes away, but always said the drive was “too far.” We only met once outside of work for about 30 minutes on a night out and even then I ended up driving him and his girlfriend home cuz they were drinking.
He often promised we’d hang out but never followed through. He also wouldn’t answer calls if I needed to talk, but expected me to pick up when he called. Whenever I brought this up, he dismissed it or turned it back on me.
At one point, he told me I was “too needy” and even made a comment about me being “on my period,” which didn’t sit right with me.
The final straw was when he delayed paying me for the PS5 after saying he would pay on payday, and also forgot my birthday despite us talking every day.
I understand he has a girlfriend and a baby on the way, but this pattern existed even before that.
I ended up cutting him off because I felt unappreciated and like the effort was one-sided, and I do feel bad but I just couldn’t do it anymore..
Am I overreacting?